Some 4chan moments.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
Creepypasta Movies 2
A while back I wrote about some movies based on creatures centered in tons of Creepypastas. Well I watched some more, and here they are.
Fathom (2013)
Directed By Justin Jones
Written By Alexander Crews
I want to mention that the director did a lot more than direct. He's also credited as the editor, and steadicam operator. Alexander Crews is listed for cinematography as well as writing. I think it's really cool that these guys successfully have their fingers in several pies.
So this is a short film, running at 8 minutes. It focuses on a older gentleman who has been searching for Slender Man for ages after Slender Man took his sister and left only her shoes. After a lifetime of research he's not found a way to get to the Slender Man. Instead the Slender Man comes to him and offers him a way to see his sister again.
This is probably the best Slender Man film I've seen. Most are trash (thus they're not hard to beat), but this one is quality. Unlike most junk on YouTube, the audio is level, the camera is steady, and the acting is good.
Now it's not quite cinema quality, but it's very close. The only thing I'd say keeps it from being cinema quality is the Slender Man's costume. It's a dude on stilts with a white face mask and gloves. This is a practical costume which is probably done for budget reasons. I understand this, and it seems like the crew did too. And to try to enhance the costume there's an electrical interference effect, which is a nice touch. Colour grading is great too. All around it's a really well put together film. Would not be surprised if Gearmark Pictures starts having stuff widely in theatres in my lifetime.
Slender Man (2011)
This one sucks. Would not recommend anything beyond the first minutes 43 seconds. The guys screen with the camera zoom is hilarious! And same with the detective's chin scratch.
So Detective J is concerned for his brother once kids start disappearing. However his brother, Brian, doesn't like him. This is because after their father was murdered J left him and his mother. He tells J that he'll be safe, but Brian finds that he's being stalked by someone in a weird mask, and nearly everyone he's come in contact with ends up dead or missing.
Eventually Brian wakes up in the woods and gets attacked by the masked person. Mask guy reveals himself as a classmate of Brian's who has snatched Brian to use him as bait to meet Slender Man. Brian escapes the kid but then runs into Slender Man. Fortunately he knows Slender Man's "weakness" and pulls out his cellphone.
When Brian comes to again he's in his brother's car at the school. J tells him his teacher has something important for him so Brian heads into the school. J says he'll wait in the car. However he never comes back. It seems like the masked kid wants revenge.
To be continued? No thanks.
This is the typical kids-with-a-camera quality video. It sucks. Tripod. Please. Or just stick a camera on a chair to keep it steady. But no. And then there's spelling mistakes. I'm not very good a spelling and my professional work goes through a lot of people to check that. Why didn't anyone screen for quality before releasing this video?
Screenshot from movie
Acting is not very good. Camera quality isn't that great. Cinematography isn't great. Slender Man costume is meah. The list goes on. All that being said, movies that suck like this made by a group of little kids are great first steps. My opinion, as harsh as it may seem sometimes, comes from a motion graphics and editor background. I like to see kids try, even if that means failing, because trying and failing is better than never trying at all.
And that being said, I don't think this was made by a group of little kids. I think it was made by young adults. There are simple errors that could be avoided, like spelling.
As of today there's over 1 million views. Likes and Dislikes are almost 50/50.
Butchy Kid Videos
SHOCKING SLENDER MAN VIDEO on Butchy Kid's YouTube
Butchy Kid Videos does tons of funny little videos. They're "sighting" of creatures like Slender Man, Bigfoot, Wolfman, and more. Very funny stuff. Would recommend.
Fathom (2013)
Directed By Justin Jones
Written By Alexander Crews
I want to mention that the director did a lot more than direct. He's also credited as the editor, and steadicam operator. Alexander Crews is listed for cinematography as well as writing. I think it's really cool that these guys successfully have their fingers in several pies.
So this is a short film, running at 8 minutes. It focuses on a older gentleman who has been searching for Slender Man for ages after Slender Man took his sister and left only her shoes. After a lifetime of research he's not found a way to get to the Slender Man. Instead the Slender Man comes to him and offers him a way to see his sister again.
This is probably the best Slender Man film I've seen. Most are trash (thus they're not hard to beat), but this one is quality. Unlike most junk on YouTube, the audio is level, the camera is steady, and the acting is good.
Now it's not quite cinema quality, but it's very close. The only thing I'd say keeps it from being cinema quality is the Slender Man's costume. It's a dude on stilts with a white face mask and gloves. This is a practical costume which is probably done for budget reasons. I understand this, and it seems like the crew did too. And to try to enhance the costume there's an electrical interference effect, which is a nice touch. Colour grading is great too. All around it's a really well put together film. Would not be surprised if Gearmark Pictures starts having stuff widely in theatres in my lifetime.
Slender Man (2011)
This one sucks. Would not recommend anything beyond the first minutes 43 seconds. The guys screen with the camera zoom is hilarious! And same with the detective's chin scratch.
So Detective J is concerned for his brother once kids start disappearing. However his brother, Brian, doesn't like him. This is because after their father was murdered J left him and his mother. He tells J that he'll be safe, but Brian finds that he's being stalked by someone in a weird mask, and nearly everyone he's come in contact with ends up dead or missing.
Eventually Brian wakes up in the woods and gets attacked by the masked person. Mask guy reveals himself as a classmate of Brian's who has snatched Brian to use him as bait to meet Slender Man. Brian escapes the kid but then runs into Slender Man. Fortunately he knows Slender Man's "weakness" and pulls out his cellphone.
When Brian comes to again he's in his brother's car at the school. J tells him his teacher has something important for him so Brian heads into the school. J says he'll wait in the car. However he never comes back. It seems like the masked kid wants revenge.
To be continued? No thanks.
This is the typical kids-with-a-camera quality video. It sucks. Tripod. Please. Or just stick a camera on a chair to keep it steady. But no. And then there's spelling mistakes. I'm not very good a spelling and my professional work goes through a lot of people to check that. Why didn't anyone screen for quality before releasing this video?
Acting is not very good. Camera quality isn't that great. Cinematography isn't great. Slender Man costume is meah. The list goes on. All that being said, movies that suck like this made by a group of little kids are great first steps. My opinion, as harsh as it may seem sometimes, comes from a motion graphics and editor background. I like to see kids try, even if that means failing, because trying and failing is better than never trying at all.
And that being said, I don't think this was made by a group of little kids. I think it was made by young adults. There are simple errors that could be avoided, like spelling.
As of today there's over 1 million views. Likes and Dislikes are almost 50/50.
Butchy Kid Videos
Butchy Kid Videos does tons of funny little videos. They're "sighting" of creatures like Slender Man, Bigfoot, Wolfman, and more. Very funny stuff. Would recommend.
Saturday, October 4, 2014
7500 (2014)
7500 (2014)
Directed by Takashi Shimizu
Written by Craig Rosenberg
Image from IMDB
Words of advice: Don't waste your time.
This film (if you want to even call it that) is poo. A friend of mine sent me some reviews about it before its North American release on Dread Central and Bloody Disgusting. Both are very negative, to my dismay. But... they are also right. As Dread Central put it “Craig Rosenberg (The Quiet Ones) weaves a tale that would be better suited to the length of a Twilight Zone episode… a Twilight Zone episode from the more recent incarnations of the series and not a particularly good one, either.” Too true.
So in case you haven't heard of the film before, here's what I knew before getting into this. A few years back I hear about this film 7500. A horror film about a haunted flight on it's way to Japan? I'm so psyched! At this time in my life I am about to fly to Japan from the US myself. What timing! Unfortunately the release date is pushed. The move isn't released. Bummer. Fast forward and I'm still waiting for this film a year later. Again, release date is pushed. Finally fall 2014 it's released! Heck yeah I'm watching this. I've literally been waiting for this film for years. Now I've seen it and am sure glad that while I was waiting, I was doing other things, like having a life. I don't know what this film was originally intended to be, but it has ended up being garbage. To top it off, why release it now? CBS Films put it off so long already, why not another year so recent tragic aviary wounds can heal a little? With that last comment in mind, perhaps that is the reason that 7500 got released in plenty of other places before the US.
Now let's get less personal.
Time to board the plane from the US to Japan. It's only going to take a scant eight hours (my flight was maybe double that so no idea where they flew out from). But in spite of the short flight time, the plane is doomed.
On the plane there's a newly wed couple made up of a neurotic germaphobic woman and her well-mannered husband, goth chick, some punk kid who made it on with a carry-on full of stolen cell phones, a girl going to visit her boyfriend, some dude with a creepy old wooden box, a mom and her daughter, two flight attendants, two random dudes who work on the plane but only appear twice, and two couples going for the dream trip to Japan. There are a few more people but they didn't really seems to matter, and they also seem to randomly disappear throughout the film.
A couple hours into the flight and the group hits a bit of turbulence. The plane seems to make it through ok, but one passenger (the dude with the weird wooden box), has some sort of panic attack or seizure or something and DUN DUN DUN dies! There seems to have been nothing the two flight attendants and paramedic passenger (part of the group going for the dream trip) could have done.
Needing somewhere to put the body, the captain tells the flight attendant to move all people from the upstairs first class to regular seats downstairs so the body can be stashed there. There's only a few people on this flight from the US to Japan in total, nevermind the negligible number that was flying first class, so everyone that's inconvenienced gets over it fast.
Then shortly after, there's more flight troubles! The plane starts to plummet down from the sky. The oxygen masks fall. Baggage in overhead compartments rebel and rain down on the passengers below. Girl-going-to-visit-her-boyfriend is thrown around with her pants down in the lavatory while trying to take a pregnancy test. Luckily the captain somehow gets control back and the flight continues. Seems like everyone is ok. But then weird gets weirder. Punk kid with stolen cell phones decides to swipe the dead guy's Rolex and take a selfie upstairs, but something goes wrong. And he winds up missing. To top it off one of the flight attendant sees a jet out the window flying pretty close. She calls the captain to ask for what to do about the missing punk kid, the now missing body, and if he's seen a jet. Look for the body and no, no jet is the word.
The few passengers that remain decide to snoop through the dead guy's stuff to find and clues as to why things are going south (group composed of paramedic from before and his friend girl, and newly weds). Inside the wooden box they find an animatronic death doll that the dead dude was delivering for a client. Fortunately at that moment goth girl is there to talk about shinigami and how some people's spirits after death need to let go before they're able to be taken away by death. The gang also convinces a flight attendant that she should look at his checked luggage below for more clues. For whatever reason, she does, and she does it alone. That doesn't end well for her, though, when a pale hand reaches for her from his luggage.
Last remaining flight attendant then gets taken in front of the gang by something that pulls her into an overhead compartment.
They flee back downstairs and find girl-going-to-visit-boyfriend has once again tried to use the restroom for her pregnancy test, and is now dead with her pants down. What a way to go.
In the cockpit the pilot and copilot are dead too! What's going on? Well a conveniently timed news transmission comes on the plane's TVs to explain just that. Apparently when the plane dropped the second time everyone had actually died on board and the gang just hadn't accepted it yet. The plane had been on auto pilot this whole time and would crash into the water in a few hours. The jet outside was there to look inside to see if anyone may have survived. Nope.
Paramedic and his friend girl end the flight in an embrace, newly wed husband seems to be ok with it, and crazy wife is the only one left. She's taken by force by a ghostly hand in the trash, as the movie's last ditch effort to spook the audience with a jump scare. The end.
Dumb, I know. It's also one of those plane movies on a mysterious airline that takes off even though a flight is less than half full, and everyone has leg room. The aisles are wide enough for people to walk up and down at the same time, seats are wide and the cushions aren't worn in. The galley is spacious and passengers can just hang out there. Where does an airline like that exist? Why is it so hard for movies on airplanes to keep it real? It annoys me...
To top it off, the film's website doesn't even seem to have anything on it but a trailer. Maybe you can figure out the navigation, but if I have to spend more than a few minutes to find a button to take me to wallpapers or a site's homepage, then the site sucks. And at the time of this blog entry, the trailer is blocked on Youtube.
Screenshot of the official trailer page that I tried to access in the US from the link on the official movie website. G4? What? Right now you can watch the trailer on IGN's channel though. Weird...
Anyway, this film stinks. Don't do it.
Directed by Takashi Shimizu
Written by Craig Rosenberg
Image from IMDB
Words of advice: Don't waste your time.
This film (if you want to even call it that) is poo. A friend of mine sent me some reviews about it before its North American release on Dread Central and Bloody Disgusting. Both are very negative, to my dismay. But... they are also right. As Dread Central put it “Craig Rosenberg (The Quiet Ones) weaves a tale that would be better suited to the length of a Twilight Zone episode… a Twilight Zone episode from the more recent incarnations of the series and not a particularly good one, either.” Too true.
So in case you haven't heard of the film before, here's what I knew before getting into this. A few years back I hear about this film 7500. A horror film about a haunted flight on it's way to Japan? I'm so psyched! At this time in my life I am about to fly to Japan from the US myself. What timing! Unfortunately the release date is pushed. The move isn't released. Bummer. Fast forward and I'm still waiting for this film a year later. Again, release date is pushed. Finally fall 2014 it's released! Heck yeah I'm watching this. I've literally been waiting for this film for years. Now I've seen it and am sure glad that while I was waiting, I was doing other things, like having a life. I don't know what this film was originally intended to be, but it has ended up being garbage. To top it off, why release it now? CBS Films put it off so long already, why not another year so recent tragic aviary wounds can heal a little? With that last comment in mind, perhaps that is the reason that 7500 got released in plenty of other places before the US.
Now let's get less personal.
Time to board the plane from the US to Japan. It's only going to take a scant eight hours (my flight was maybe double that so no idea where they flew out from). But in spite of the short flight time, the plane is doomed.
On the plane there's a newly wed couple made up of a neurotic germaphobic woman and her well-mannered husband, goth chick, some punk kid who made it on with a carry-on full of stolen cell phones, a girl going to visit her boyfriend, some dude with a creepy old wooden box, a mom and her daughter, two flight attendants, two random dudes who work on the plane but only appear twice, and two couples going for the dream trip to Japan. There are a few more people but they didn't really seems to matter, and they also seem to randomly disappear throughout the film.
A couple hours into the flight and the group hits a bit of turbulence. The plane seems to make it through ok, but one passenger (the dude with the weird wooden box), has some sort of panic attack or seizure or something and DUN DUN DUN dies! There seems to have been nothing the two flight attendants and paramedic passenger (part of the group going for the dream trip) could have done.
Needing somewhere to put the body, the captain tells the flight attendant to move all people from the upstairs first class to regular seats downstairs so the body can be stashed there. There's only a few people on this flight from the US to Japan in total, nevermind the negligible number that was flying first class, so everyone that's inconvenienced gets over it fast.
Then shortly after, there's more flight troubles! The plane starts to plummet down from the sky. The oxygen masks fall. Baggage in overhead compartments rebel and rain down on the passengers below. Girl-going-to-visit-her-boyfriend is thrown around with her pants down in the lavatory while trying to take a pregnancy test. Luckily the captain somehow gets control back and the flight continues. Seems like everyone is ok. But then weird gets weirder. Punk kid with stolen cell phones decides to swipe the dead guy's Rolex and take a selfie upstairs, but something goes wrong. And he winds up missing. To top it off one of the flight attendant sees a jet out the window flying pretty close. She calls the captain to ask for what to do about the missing punk kid, the now missing body, and if he's seen a jet. Look for the body and no, no jet is the word.
The few passengers that remain decide to snoop through the dead guy's stuff to find and clues as to why things are going south (group composed of paramedic from before and his friend girl, and newly weds). Inside the wooden box they find an animatronic death doll that the dead dude was delivering for a client. Fortunately at that moment goth girl is there to talk about shinigami and how some people's spirits after death need to let go before they're able to be taken away by death. The gang also convinces a flight attendant that she should look at his checked luggage below for more clues. For whatever reason, she does, and she does it alone. That doesn't end well for her, though, when a pale hand reaches for her from his luggage.
Last remaining flight attendant then gets taken in front of the gang by something that pulls her into an overhead compartment.
They flee back downstairs and find girl-going-to-visit-boyfriend has once again tried to use the restroom for her pregnancy test, and is now dead with her pants down. What a way to go.
In the cockpit the pilot and copilot are dead too! What's going on? Well a conveniently timed news transmission comes on the plane's TVs to explain just that. Apparently when the plane dropped the second time everyone had actually died on board and the gang just hadn't accepted it yet. The plane had been on auto pilot this whole time and would crash into the water in a few hours. The jet outside was there to look inside to see if anyone may have survived. Nope.
Paramedic and his friend girl end the flight in an embrace, newly wed husband seems to be ok with it, and crazy wife is the only one left. She's taken by force by a ghostly hand in the trash, as the movie's last ditch effort to spook the audience with a jump scare. The end.
Dumb, I know. It's also one of those plane movies on a mysterious airline that takes off even though a flight is less than half full, and everyone has leg room. The aisles are wide enough for people to walk up and down at the same time, seats are wide and the cushions aren't worn in. The galley is spacious and passengers can just hang out there. Where does an airline like that exist? Why is it so hard for movies on airplanes to keep it real? It annoys me...
To top it off, the film's website doesn't even seem to have anything on it but a trailer. Maybe you can figure out the navigation, but if I have to spend more than a few minutes to find a button to take me to wallpapers or a site's homepage, then the site sucks. And at the time of this blog entry, the trailer is blocked on Youtube.
Screenshot of the official trailer page that I tried to access in the US from the link on the official movie website. G4? What? Right now you can watch the trailer on IGN's channel though. Weird...
Anyway, this film stinks. Don't do it.
Monday, September 22, 2014
Contracted (2013)
Contracted (2013)
Directed by Eric England
Written by Eric England
Image from http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQwMjQyOTUwN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDQ3MzE2MDE@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg
STDs (or STIs as they're called nowadays) are pretty scary. Some things you can live with, some will kill you, and apparently some will do much worse. That's kind of the premise for Contracted.
From reviews and people I've spoken with, Contracted is either a movie you like or don't. Not really any gray area. I'm part of the do-not-like party. It's one of those movies that you can't even get attached to the protagonist because they do everything wrong. I want to see a horror movie where the character is taking steps towards self preservation, and she has to use intelligence to get out of a situation. I don't want to see a stupid girl get in trouble because of something she chose to do herself.
Samantha and Nikki are taking some time apart. Nikki is so over this, but Sam hopes it's just a short break. In the mean time Sam ends up at her friend Alice's house for a party. After a few drinks she can't even properly decipher which cup is hers and is handed one by an uninvited guest. Before she knows it, she's have straight unprotected sex in his car. In the morning she wakes up in her bed with a fuzzy memory and what she thinks is a bad hangover. At least in her room she's surrounded by beautiful flowers she's growing for a competition. Beyond her door is a mother who isn't so much concerned as she is leery that her daughter is using again.
At work Sam has trouble concentrating. She can't understand customers' orders, and is overwhelmed by a ringing white noise. Seeking solace in the ladies' room, things seems to calm down in her head, but she has a huge amount of blood escape from her lady bits.
Her doctor barely examines her and thinks she may have an STD. Sam is devastated. In her mind she cheated on her girlfriend with a MAN. If only she didn't take a drink from a stranger. If only she didn't have unprotected sex in someone else's car. If only she' insist that her doctor examine her thoroughly instead of looking only at her hips and waist with her panties still on and calling it a day.
Also during that day Sam insists that Nikki and her meet up. While eating out a dude approaches Sam to hit on her. Nikki tells him he doesn't have the right equipment, and he's confused, seeing as Sam did have sex with a guy just a while before. Luckily Nikki shoos him away before she finds out about it.
Later on things get worse. Sam's hair is falling out, Sam's teeth are falling out, Sam's eye is messed up, and maggots are falling from her vagina. And her flowers are dying. So what does she do? Fight with her mom and go to work.
Her boss has insisted she work for a bit before heading to the doctor (not emergency room), but she's cut off when a customer finds bits of her in the food she's prepared.
Once again at the doctor, he doesn't seem too concerned. Tells her he's running tests and she should keep herself isolated for the time being. During all this, Alice has been contacted by the police about one of the guests at her party. He's a wanted man. Has Sam seen this guy? Oh she's more than seem him. He's the one who gave this present to her. But Sam is reluctant still to divulge, because what if Nikki finds out? Alice calls Nikki anyway to tell her and hopefully convince Sam to go to the police. Unfortunately that's not what goes down.
Sam turns from lover to stalker as she shows up at Nikki's, pounding on her door. Can't you tell she's over you? And she's extra pissed that you slept with a man. Sam can't take the criticism and rejection though. If she can't have Nikki no one will. She forces open Nikki's door, throwing Nikki to the ground. While she's dazed, Sam takes the opportunity to kill her. She then decides to stop in at Alice's since she's the one that told Nikki.
When Sam arrives, Alice soon can tell something is wrong. She tries fighting Sam off, but once again Sam kills a friend. And of course the next logical step after killing is to call up that one customer from your work that's been hitting on you, and inviting him over.
So he shows up, and in spite of the fact that clumps of her hair are missing, she's got the teeth of a Mountain Dew addict, one eye is blank, and her lip is scabbed over, this guy decided that he's down to bone. Ooo and she feels so good, right? Wrong. After a few pumps he realizes Sam is crazy bleeding all over his junk, and when he pulls out maggots fall to the floor. Gross! Guy freaks out (as he should have from the start) and rushes to the bathroom to clean off. Unfortunately he finds Alice's body in the bath tub. What to do?!
Sam leaves Alice's and gives her mom a ring. Her mom all of a sudden is concerned about her and her whereabouts. Sam, however, passes out at the wheel. When she comes to, the man has arrived, as well as her mom, and has her car surrounded. She gimply swats at the armed officers, while her mom calls to her. Sam rushes her mother, and finally we see that Zombieism is an STD. And guy from the party (BJ) is spreading it.
Image from http://i1095.photobucket.com/albums/i461/gokbiloz/ARNT4/7_zps6a943829.jpg~original
Above is a picture of Sam, halfway through her demise. Don't you want to get with that, just like random guy at the end of the movie? NO! Not to say she's ugly, but simply because any good samaritan would think this looks like a person in distress. She needs medical help. But no. Instead Nikki is too caught up in their breakup and Sam's 'confused' sexuality, Alice is too upset that Sam didn't turn herself into the police, guy from restaurant is too horny, mom thinks she's just a crack head, and Samantha is just dumb. Like I said earlier, can't even feel bad for them. Stupid people suffer avoidable consequences.
Additionally, if your employee came to work looking like that, wouldn't you want her to leave immediately and seek medical aid? Gosh people.
Image from http://i.imgur.com/l0Lxien.png
This movie spans 3 days too, which makes it worse. This pic above is Samantha before things go way south. So within a matter of days she goes from looking like that to this:
Image from https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2EusPCzQlJmes5m_qQdUsFcYHxgzqBJyj7yEkIK-0-Oz8UpJ47dQschbET7LGMNmA-P2hWBwiq1SOICXlmOMEFNZPfBdfp2-wC22uuZOrk4Yuli0uURXDc2r9JLlwnFtPwlj2buc8snGO/s1600/contracted-01.jpg
No one, not even herself, was particularly concerned about this immediate transformation. Whatevs.
The one good thing I have to say about it is it's an interesting opinion of how people become zombies.
Directed by Eric England
Written by Eric England
STDs (or STIs as they're called nowadays) are pretty scary. Some things you can live with, some will kill you, and apparently some will do much worse. That's kind of the premise for Contracted.
From reviews and people I've spoken with, Contracted is either a movie you like or don't. Not really any gray area. I'm part of the do-not-like party. It's one of those movies that you can't even get attached to the protagonist because they do everything wrong. I want to see a horror movie where the character is taking steps towards self preservation, and she has to use intelligence to get out of a situation. I don't want to see a stupid girl get in trouble because of something she chose to do herself.
Samantha and Nikki are taking some time apart. Nikki is so over this, but Sam hopes it's just a short break. In the mean time Sam ends up at her friend Alice's house for a party. After a few drinks she can't even properly decipher which cup is hers and is handed one by an uninvited guest. Before she knows it, she's have straight unprotected sex in his car. In the morning she wakes up in her bed with a fuzzy memory and what she thinks is a bad hangover. At least in her room she's surrounded by beautiful flowers she's growing for a competition. Beyond her door is a mother who isn't so much concerned as she is leery that her daughter is using again.
At work Sam has trouble concentrating. She can't understand customers' orders, and is overwhelmed by a ringing white noise. Seeking solace in the ladies' room, things seems to calm down in her head, but she has a huge amount of blood escape from her lady bits.
Her doctor barely examines her and thinks she may have an STD. Sam is devastated. In her mind she cheated on her girlfriend with a MAN. If only she didn't take a drink from a stranger. If only she didn't have unprotected sex in someone else's car. If only she' insist that her doctor examine her thoroughly instead of looking only at her hips and waist with her panties still on and calling it a day.
Also during that day Sam insists that Nikki and her meet up. While eating out a dude approaches Sam to hit on her. Nikki tells him he doesn't have the right equipment, and he's confused, seeing as Sam did have sex with a guy just a while before. Luckily Nikki shoos him away before she finds out about it.
Later on things get worse. Sam's hair is falling out, Sam's teeth are falling out, Sam's eye is messed up, and maggots are falling from her vagina. And her flowers are dying. So what does she do? Fight with her mom and go to work.
Her boss has insisted she work for a bit before heading to the doctor (not emergency room), but she's cut off when a customer finds bits of her in the food she's prepared.
Once again at the doctor, he doesn't seem too concerned. Tells her he's running tests and she should keep herself isolated for the time being. During all this, Alice has been contacted by the police about one of the guests at her party. He's a wanted man. Has Sam seen this guy? Oh she's more than seem him. He's the one who gave this present to her. But Sam is reluctant still to divulge, because what if Nikki finds out? Alice calls Nikki anyway to tell her and hopefully convince Sam to go to the police. Unfortunately that's not what goes down.
Sam turns from lover to stalker as she shows up at Nikki's, pounding on her door. Can't you tell she's over you? And she's extra pissed that you slept with a man. Sam can't take the criticism and rejection though. If she can't have Nikki no one will. She forces open Nikki's door, throwing Nikki to the ground. While she's dazed, Sam takes the opportunity to kill her. She then decides to stop in at Alice's since she's the one that told Nikki.
When Sam arrives, Alice soon can tell something is wrong. She tries fighting Sam off, but once again Sam kills a friend. And of course the next logical step after killing is to call up that one customer from your work that's been hitting on you, and inviting him over.
So he shows up, and in spite of the fact that clumps of her hair are missing, she's got the teeth of a Mountain Dew addict, one eye is blank, and her lip is scabbed over, this guy decided that he's down to bone. Ooo and she feels so good, right? Wrong. After a few pumps he realizes Sam is crazy bleeding all over his junk, and when he pulls out maggots fall to the floor. Gross! Guy freaks out (as he should have from the start) and rushes to the bathroom to clean off. Unfortunately he finds Alice's body in the bath tub. What to do?!
Sam leaves Alice's and gives her mom a ring. Her mom all of a sudden is concerned about her and her whereabouts. Sam, however, passes out at the wheel. When she comes to, the man has arrived, as well as her mom, and has her car surrounded. She gimply swats at the armed officers, while her mom calls to her. Sam rushes her mother, and finally we see that Zombieism is an STD. And guy from the party (BJ) is spreading it.
Above is a picture of Sam, halfway through her demise. Don't you want to get with that, just like random guy at the end of the movie? NO! Not to say she's ugly, but simply because any good samaritan would think this looks like a person in distress. She needs medical help. But no. Instead Nikki is too caught up in their breakup and Sam's 'confused' sexuality, Alice is too upset that Sam didn't turn herself into the police, guy from restaurant is too horny, mom thinks she's just a crack head, and Samantha is just dumb. Like I said earlier, can't even feel bad for them. Stupid people suffer avoidable consequences.
Additionally, if your employee came to work looking like that, wouldn't you want her to leave immediately and seek medical aid? Gosh people.
This movie spans 3 days too, which makes it worse. This pic above is Samantha before things go way south. So within a matter of days she goes from looking like that to this:
No one, not even herself, was particularly concerned about this immediate transformation. Whatevs.
The one good thing I have to say about it is it's an interesting opinion of how people become zombies.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Worst Movie Ever
For you out there that truly enjoy the torture of an awful film:
Worst film I've ever seen is
If you think you've seen a more horrible film, please tell me what it is, cause as of right now I don't think there is anything worse. I don't know what the filmmakers were thinking, or even if they were thinking, but this is garbage.
So this movie is about killer birds. And the reason they kill? Global warming. And then at the end, they fly away.
This movie is so bad, and for more reasons than just the story. The acting is maybe elementary school Thanksgiving play quality. The special effects are worse than that. And the audio is even worse.
Anyway, not gonna talk much more about it cause it'll just get me worked up. So if you're curious to know more, check out the trailer. PS if you're a glutton for this anguish, there is a sequel.
Worst film I've ever seen is
Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)
Written and directed by James NguyenIf you think you've seen a more horrible film, please tell me what it is, cause as of right now I don't think there is anything worse. I don't know what the filmmakers were thinking, or even if they were thinking, but this is garbage.
So this movie is about killer birds. And the reason they kill? Global warming. And then at the end, they fly away.
This movie is so bad, and for more reasons than just the story. The acting is maybe elementary school Thanksgiving play quality. The special effects are worse than that. And the audio is even worse.
Anyway, not gonna talk much more about it cause it'll just get me worked up. So if you're curious to know more, check out the trailer. PS if you're a glutton for this anguish, there is a sequel.
Monday, February 24, 2014
Banshee Chapter (2013)
Banshee Chapter (2013)
Directed by Blair Erickson
Written by Blair Erickson and Daniel J. Healy
Image from http://www.movieinsider.com/m9385/the-banshee-chapter/
Banshee Chapter is a film about a young female journalist looking for her missing best friend who has got himself caught up in a horrific CIA experiment.
After college, best friends Anne and James sadly drifted apart. Anne went on her journey to become a journalist, while James began research on a book about MKUltra. He had received a sample of the drug from his friends in Colorado, and decided to partake in it on tape. Another friend of James' recorded his trip. Unfortunately James wasn't hallucinating what was happening to him. After ingesting the drug, the radio tuned into a strange station playing was sounded like ice cream truck music overlaid with a young girl talking gibberish. Then a silhouette appeared in the window and something happened...
When James' friend comes around he notices James is missing. He runs about the property frantically looking for his friend and eventually finds him out back. But it's not really James. A look-alike with dark eyes and some red liquid escaping its mouth confronts the friend. Next thing the friend knows he's being pinned for James' disappearance, but shortly after his interrogation he disappears himself.
Anne see's this as an opportunity for an amazing story and to find James. Her first research is reviewing the friend's tape. She then tracks down a man who may be able to identify what that weird radio broadcast is. An older gentleman at an electronic repair shop says yes, he has heard this before. And Anne's best bet of hearing it again is out at a particular lonely stretch of highway late at night. But when she goes there and hears what she's been searching for, something beyond the comfort of her car prompts her to make a quick getaway.
At the officer her boss, Olivia, has another tape for Anne. It's a tape from the MKUltra experiments showing living subjects being injected with liquid extracted from the brain of a dead patient. The tape then goes blank for the last half. It is sent away to see of what was originally recorded in that black space can be extracted, and in the mean time Anne sets out to find author Thomas Blackburn.
She got the tip to see Blackburn after she told a coworker James had got the drug from his 'friends in Colorado', and a coworker remarked "Like the book title?"
The book Friends in Colorado is then presented to Anne. It is written by Thomas Blackburn so Anne believes he is actually the one who supplied James with the substance.
Blackburn, not talking with journalists anymore, is greeted in a bar by Anne, under the alias of Sarah, a big Blackburn fan. Blackburn invites her back to his place, where she meets Callie. Callie is mixing up some MKUltra for them to enjoy, and Blackburn gives some to Sarah in a shot glass, before going to his liquor cabinet to get them another drink. While his back is turned Sarah chucks the MKUltra, then gladly takes the new drink from Blackburn. Slyly he confronts her about her true identity saying he knew it from the get-go. And that he actually put the drug in her drink, not in the shot she threw away...
Angered, Anne retreats to the bedroom upstairs where Callie is sitting. Callie is looking wide-eyes out the window claiming something is coming for them, something is close, something can see her and she doesn't like it. Weirded out Anne goes back downstairs to hear that ice cream truck recording and something banging on the door to get in. Blackburn, Callie and Anne hole up in the bedroom while the thing tries to break through the bedroom door. The place goes dark and the door opens. Blackburn and Anne are knocked out, and when they come to Callie is gone. The two of them get the hell out of there.
When they stop to regain composure the radio tunes into that noise again, and Blackburn starts to convulse. His eyes roll back and his orifices bleed. Anne guns it out of their until they're out of reach of the signa;.
With their nerves returning Anne insists they go to Callie's house to make sure she's ok. Perhaps they all just hallucinated all of this.
Blackburn directs her to the house she had been squatting in. He waits in the car, still a mess from the earlier incident, but gives Anne a walkie talkie to stay in touch.
As Anne approaches the front door of the house, it looks like someone's been here... She heads to the basement where Blackburn says she makes her concoctions, and he finds formulas for the MKUltra, as well as security camera feeds from around Callie's house. She sees Callie's form enter between the time at Blackburn's and now. Then the figure goes to the basement, and walks into a shadowed corner just minutes before Anne arrives. And she never sees her leave... Paranoid, Anne approaches the stairs by the corner slowly, having grabbed what papers she could. Halfway up the stairs a hand grabs her, and in a panic Anne flees back to the car. The the two drive.
Blackburn explains that the MKUltra drug isn't really for a regular trip. He theorizes it's a chemical catalyst that makes your mind a receiver for something. And that something hones into your location once you've ingested the drug. Your can tell it's near from the radio, and when it gets you, you're gone, but your body remains. It wears you.
Fearing for them, Anne points out to where she thinks it all originated from based on the papers from Callie's house, and suggests they burn it to hell. Blackburn tells her she doesn't have to. She can just walk away. Because he didn't actually give her the drug.
He had lied to her like she lied to him. But this doesn't make Anne feel safer, because James' friend went missing too. They finally resolve to go the origin and destroy it.
They arrive at what looks like a bunker with a broadcast antenna on top. Inside the rooms that were in the experiment tape are all around them. Finally they find one room with a tank and some sort of giant computer hooked up to it that's still running. The tank has one window. Anne crouches to peer inside and pale face presses against it. Then the radio signal begins. Blackburn begins to fit, and before he is taken by the signal, he shoots himself. Anne flees down the hall in fright, to be confronted by a strange humanoid figure. Wearing James' clothes.
She runs back to the room, locks the door and douses the place in gasoline from the car. The thing is coming for her at the door but she manages to set the gas alight before she's taken too.
Soon afterwards Anne finds herself at a police station. It looks similar to the one James' friend was held at for interrogation at the beginning. Her boss arrives and is glad she's safe, but advises against her story. They'll call her crazy. But Anne doesn't know what else to say. Olivia mentions to her that the company was able to extract the buried footage on the tape, but says the content isn't important right now. She wants to know is Anne is sure she didn't have any of the drug. She says yes, but then the intercom starts plating the ominous ice cream truck music again. Frantically Anne screams for the police to let her out of the investigation room, and when she turns around she finds Olivia at her neck, black eyes and bleeding from the mouth like James from the tape.
Image from http://www.screendaily.com/reviews/the-latest/the-banshee-chapter/5059526.article
So this movie really freaked me out. Yes is is low budget, but the film handled that well. It felt like the crew said "We only have this much money and time, so let's make a top notch film on a tiny budget by really focusing the money where is needs to go."
Within the first ten minutes I jumped around twice. I don't usually get phased by horror movies, but this one did it.
I don't understand why ratings aren't higher for this film on IMDB. I'd recommend to a horror fan who also likes to think a little. To top it off, it's one of those films based on other stories, like how Devil's Pass is based on the real hikers who went missing in the same area so long ago.
I didn't know this going in, but the MKUltra experiments were a real thing and may very well still be. Like it says in the movie, the experiments were intended to figure out a recipe for mind control. Tons of people, an unknown number, were used as test subjects without knowing. Perhaps it's still happening now too. I'm not a huge conspiracy theorist, but we've seen what the US government does to it's own citizens and the rest of the world with or without their knowing and/or approval, so I really unfortunately don't see this film as far fetched.
It is disheartening to know there are people within high ranks of the government that can literally go whatever kind of experiments they want on knowing or unknowing test subjects and get away with whatever the consequences to the subjects are. And that taxes go to fund things like this...
We can hope this isn't continuing in the USA, but...
Anyway, good thinking film. I'd also like to add I've only watched through this once so far, but the interrogation room from the beginning with James' friend and the one from the end with Anne looked similar to me. This prompts me to believe that the police knew on some level what was going on, and perhaps they were being controlled themselves by some successful version of MKUltra, so they purposefully stuck Anne in a room with a receiver in order to take care of their problem.
Also worthy of note, this isn't a typically blockbuster with love stories and such going on. Yes, Anne considers the possibility that maybe her and James should have been something. But they don't live happily ever after. There's no sex, or nudity to keep attention. Just a good story without those stupid movie crutches.
And finally, the end of the credits don't play some catch pop song. Instead the last thing you hear is the broadcast. And it is eerie...
Directed by Blair Erickson
Written by Blair Erickson and Daniel J. Healy
Banshee Chapter is a film about a young female journalist looking for her missing best friend who has got himself caught up in a horrific CIA experiment.
After college, best friends Anne and James sadly drifted apart. Anne went on her journey to become a journalist, while James began research on a book about MKUltra. He had received a sample of the drug from his friends in Colorado, and decided to partake in it on tape. Another friend of James' recorded his trip. Unfortunately James wasn't hallucinating what was happening to him. After ingesting the drug, the radio tuned into a strange station playing was sounded like ice cream truck music overlaid with a young girl talking gibberish. Then a silhouette appeared in the window and something happened...
When James' friend comes around he notices James is missing. He runs about the property frantically looking for his friend and eventually finds him out back. But it's not really James. A look-alike with dark eyes and some red liquid escaping its mouth confronts the friend. Next thing the friend knows he's being pinned for James' disappearance, but shortly after his interrogation he disappears himself.
Anne see's this as an opportunity for an amazing story and to find James. Her first research is reviewing the friend's tape. She then tracks down a man who may be able to identify what that weird radio broadcast is. An older gentleman at an electronic repair shop says yes, he has heard this before. And Anne's best bet of hearing it again is out at a particular lonely stretch of highway late at night. But when she goes there and hears what she's been searching for, something beyond the comfort of her car prompts her to make a quick getaway.
At the officer her boss, Olivia, has another tape for Anne. It's a tape from the MKUltra experiments showing living subjects being injected with liquid extracted from the brain of a dead patient. The tape then goes blank for the last half. It is sent away to see of what was originally recorded in that black space can be extracted, and in the mean time Anne sets out to find author Thomas Blackburn.
She got the tip to see Blackburn after she told a coworker James had got the drug from his 'friends in Colorado', and a coworker remarked "Like the book title?"
The book Friends in Colorado is then presented to Anne. It is written by Thomas Blackburn so Anne believes he is actually the one who supplied James with the substance.
Blackburn, not talking with journalists anymore, is greeted in a bar by Anne, under the alias of Sarah, a big Blackburn fan. Blackburn invites her back to his place, where she meets Callie. Callie is mixing up some MKUltra for them to enjoy, and Blackburn gives some to Sarah in a shot glass, before going to his liquor cabinet to get them another drink. While his back is turned Sarah chucks the MKUltra, then gladly takes the new drink from Blackburn. Slyly he confronts her about her true identity saying he knew it from the get-go. And that he actually put the drug in her drink, not in the shot she threw away...
Angered, Anne retreats to the bedroom upstairs where Callie is sitting. Callie is looking wide-eyes out the window claiming something is coming for them, something is close, something can see her and she doesn't like it. Weirded out Anne goes back downstairs to hear that ice cream truck recording and something banging on the door to get in. Blackburn, Callie and Anne hole up in the bedroom while the thing tries to break through the bedroom door. The place goes dark and the door opens. Blackburn and Anne are knocked out, and when they come to Callie is gone. The two of them get the hell out of there.
When they stop to regain composure the radio tunes into that noise again, and Blackburn starts to convulse. His eyes roll back and his orifices bleed. Anne guns it out of their until they're out of reach of the signa;.
With their nerves returning Anne insists they go to Callie's house to make sure she's ok. Perhaps they all just hallucinated all of this.
Blackburn directs her to the house she had been squatting in. He waits in the car, still a mess from the earlier incident, but gives Anne a walkie talkie to stay in touch.
As Anne approaches the front door of the house, it looks like someone's been here... She heads to the basement where Blackburn says she makes her concoctions, and he finds formulas for the MKUltra, as well as security camera feeds from around Callie's house. She sees Callie's form enter between the time at Blackburn's and now. Then the figure goes to the basement, and walks into a shadowed corner just minutes before Anne arrives. And she never sees her leave... Paranoid, Anne approaches the stairs by the corner slowly, having grabbed what papers she could. Halfway up the stairs a hand grabs her, and in a panic Anne flees back to the car. The the two drive.
Blackburn explains that the MKUltra drug isn't really for a regular trip. He theorizes it's a chemical catalyst that makes your mind a receiver for something. And that something hones into your location once you've ingested the drug. Your can tell it's near from the radio, and when it gets you, you're gone, but your body remains. It wears you.
Fearing for them, Anne points out to where she thinks it all originated from based on the papers from Callie's house, and suggests they burn it to hell. Blackburn tells her she doesn't have to. She can just walk away. Because he didn't actually give her the drug.
He had lied to her like she lied to him. But this doesn't make Anne feel safer, because James' friend went missing too. They finally resolve to go the origin and destroy it.
They arrive at what looks like a bunker with a broadcast antenna on top. Inside the rooms that were in the experiment tape are all around them. Finally they find one room with a tank and some sort of giant computer hooked up to it that's still running. The tank has one window. Anne crouches to peer inside and pale face presses against it. Then the radio signal begins. Blackburn begins to fit, and before he is taken by the signal, he shoots himself. Anne flees down the hall in fright, to be confronted by a strange humanoid figure. Wearing James' clothes.
She runs back to the room, locks the door and douses the place in gasoline from the car. The thing is coming for her at the door but she manages to set the gas alight before she's taken too.
Soon afterwards Anne finds herself at a police station. It looks similar to the one James' friend was held at for interrogation at the beginning. Her boss arrives and is glad she's safe, but advises against her story. They'll call her crazy. But Anne doesn't know what else to say. Olivia mentions to her that the company was able to extract the buried footage on the tape, but says the content isn't important right now. She wants to know is Anne is sure she didn't have any of the drug. She says yes, but then the intercom starts plating the ominous ice cream truck music again. Frantically Anne screams for the police to let her out of the investigation room, and when she turns around she finds Olivia at her neck, black eyes and bleeding from the mouth like James from the tape.
So this movie really freaked me out. Yes is is low budget, but the film handled that well. It felt like the crew said "We only have this much money and time, so let's make a top notch film on a tiny budget by really focusing the money where is needs to go."
Within the first ten minutes I jumped around twice. I don't usually get phased by horror movies, but this one did it.
I don't understand why ratings aren't higher for this film on IMDB. I'd recommend to a horror fan who also likes to think a little. To top it off, it's one of those films based on other stories, like how Devil's Pass is based on the real hikers who went missing in the same area so long ago.
I didn't know this going in, but the MKUltra experiments were a real thing and may very well still be. Like it says in the movie, the experiments were intended to figure out a recipe for mind control. Tons of people, an unknown number, were used as test subjects without knowing. Perhaps it's still happening now too. I'm not a huge conspiracy theorist, but we've seen what the US government does to it's own citizens and the rest of the world with or without their knowing and/or approval, so I really unfortunately don't see this film as far fetched.
It is disheartening to know there are people within high ranks of the government that can literally go whatever kind of experiments they want on knowing or unknowing test subjects and get away with whatever the consequences to the subjects are. And that taxes go to fund things like this...
We can hope this isn't continuing in the USA, but...
Anyway, good thinking film. I'd also like to add I've only watched through this once so far, but the interrogation room from the beginning with James' friend and the one from the end with Anne looked similar to me. This prompts me to believe that the police knew on some level what was going on, and perhaps they were being controlled themselves by some successful version of MKUltra, so they purposefully stuck Anne in a room with a receiver in order to take care of their problem.
Also worthy of note, this isn't a typically blockbuster with love stories and such going on. Yes, Anne considers the possibility that maybe her and James should have been something. But they don't live happily ever after. There's no sex, or nudity to keep attention. Just a good story without those stupid movie crutches.
And finally, the end of the credits don't play some catch pop song. Instead the last thing you hear is the broadcast. And it is eerie...
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