Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
Directed and Written by George Barry

Dear My brain... I'm so sorry I did this to you... I plan Patton Oswalt 

If you've heard Patton Oswalt's bit about Death Bed, you may be under the same impression I was. "Oh, this sounds like a terribly funny b-movie!" But you're wrong... It's a b-movie beyond being mock-worthy. Just walk away.

Some young kids in heat find a random place in the wilderness to shag (cause of course that's a good idea). They get it on whilst on the bed. But it's not a normal bed. It's Death Bed, the bed that eats!!!

The 5 star meal the guy brings for the girl he's shagging.

Needless to say the lovers are absorbed into the bed. Fast forward a little and three girls drive up to spend the weekend in the area. Two are friends, and the third is a work acquaintance who invited herself along but soon regrets it.
Once the girls arrive, the third wheel decided she'll sleep the day away on a random bed they stumble upon in a bunker. The other two go to explore, while third wheel Suzan stays behind. She falls asleep and the bed kind of gets off from her sleeping body. Somehow the bed undresses her, does its thing, then eats her. Once she girls return they're puzzled by her disappearance. Thinking she couldn't have gone very far, one girl, Sharon, decides to drive up the way they came while the other, Diane, stays behind in case she returns.
Diane chugs down some wine and soon finds herself resting on the bed. She awakens to see Suzan saying she is dead. Both of them are in a book of names of the dead. Diane looks at the book, made of reflective sheets, and page after page she sees only her reflection. This is just a dream of her and Suzan, so this time she wakes for real. Unfortunately she stirs to the realization that the bed is gobbling her up. Whimpering, she drags herself off the bed to the stairs leading out of the bunker. On the top step it seems she's home free, when one of the sheets whips out and wraps around her, pulling her back. 

Diane fails to escape, and is dragged back to bed to finish the "job"

Sharon returns just in time to see this, but is unable to saver her friend.
Meanwhile Sharon's brother has been trying to find her for some reason. He eventually arrives in the brick shack to see his sister huddled in the corner. Why has the bed not taken her, you ask. It is because Sharon's eyes look like the eyes of the lover of the demon who bled tears on the bed, bringing it to life. In short, Sharon reminds Death Bed of its mom.
Understand the bed is evil, Sharon's brother stabs it. But Death Bed latches onto the knife, and instead of letting go he lets his hands get sucked in with it. When he manages to wriggle free, Death Bed has picked his hands clean, leaving only the bones exposed. Sharon's brother says he can't tale the sight of his own bones, so she snaps his hands off for him.

Sharon and her brother, who is being recruited for the skeleton army

Then somehow there's a dude trapped behind a painting (who has been playing narrator this whole time). He gives Sharon instructions on how to kill the bed, though it seems to cost her life and her brother's to do so.
So death bed is destroyed, and we're all left feeling underwhelmed.

Death Bed on its deathbed as it weird ritual continues to destroy it

Cause even Death Bed gets a bit upset inside. Image from 

I want to mention that at no time during this movie does anyone under attack scream. They just stay silent as they're eaten alive, or whimper. Maybe if they asked for help, someone near by could have come over or something. The pacing is also so slow that during scenes where people are getting killed, the whimpering makes it sound like you're watching porn (I watched this at a friend's parents' house and we both prayed that they wouldn't hear this flick, come downstairs and be like "What the heck???").
There's also a lot of moments of unnecessary nudity, like in Diane's dream.
The story is so convoluted that there has to be a narrator. Instead of having characters with dialogue, the narrator just tries to fill you in.
Also if you are so curious, you'll notice that all the girl's filmographies on IMDB only consist of Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Maybe it turned them off from ever wanting to act again?

As mentioned before, this movie was so bad that there wasn't even enough to make fun of. Save yourselves and watch something else like Zombies on a Plane.
If for whatever reason you still feel the need to watch it, don't waste the $15 on the DVD like I did. Talk someone else into buying it for you, or maybe check it out here for free https://youtu.be/r9CL4erF9Qw

Contracted (2013)

Contracted (2013)
Directed by Eric England
Written by Eric England

Image from http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQwMjQyOTUwN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDQ3MzE2MDE@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

STDs (or STIs as they're called nowadays) are pretty scary. Some things you can live with, some will kill you, and apparently some will do much worse. That's kind of the premise for Contracted.

From reviews and people I've spoken with, Contracted is either a movie you like or don't. Not really any gray area. I'm part of the do-not-like party. It's one of those movies that you can't even get attached to the protagonist because they do everything wrong. I want to see a horror movie where the character is taking steps towards self preservation, and she has to use intelligence to get out of a situation. I don't want to see a stupid girl get in trouble because of something she chose to do herself.

Samantha and Nikki are taking some time apart. Nikki is so over this, but Sam hopes it's just a short break. In the mean time Sam ends up at her friend Alice's house for a party. After a few drinks she can't even properly decipher which cup is hers and is handed one by an uninvited guest. Before she knows it, she's have straight unprotected sex in his car. In the morning she wakes up in her bed with a fuzzy memory and what she thinks is a bad hangover. At least in her room she's surrounded by beautiful flowers she's growing for a competition. Beyond her door is a mother who isn't so much concerned as she is leery that her daughter is using again.
At work Sam has trouble concentrating. She can't understand customers' orders, and is overwhelmed by a ringing white noise. Seeking solace in the ladies' room, things seems to calm down in her head, but she has a huge amount of blood escape from her lady bits.
Her doctor barely examines her and thinks she may have an STD. Sam is devastated. In her mind she cheated on her girlfriend with a MAN. If only she didn't take a drink from a stranger. If only she didn't have unprotected sex in someone else's car. If only she' insist that her doctor examine her thoroughly instead of looking only at her hips and waist with her panties still on and calling it a day.
Also during that day Sam insists that Nikki and her meet up. While eating out a dude approaches Sam to hit on her. Nikki tells him he doesn't have the right equipment, and he's confused, seeing as Sam did have sex with a guy just a while before. Luckily Nikki shoos him away before she finds out about it.
Later on things get worse. Sam's hair is falling out, Sam's teeth are falling out, Sam's eye is messed up, and maggots are falling from her vagina. And her flowers are dying. So what does she do? Fight with her mom and go to work.
Her boss has insisted she work for a bit before heading to the doctor (not emergency room), but she's cut off when a customer finds bits of her in the food she's prepared.
Once again at the doctor, he doesn't seem too concerned. Tells her he's running tests and she should keep herself isolated for the time being. During all this, Alice has been contacted by the police about one of the guests at her party. He's a wanted man. Has Sam seen this guy? Oh she's more than seem him. He's the one who gave this present to her. But Sam is reluctant still to divulge, because what if Nikki finds out? Alice calls Nikki anyway to tell her and hopefully convince Sam to go to the police. Unfortunately that's not what goes down.
Sam turns from lover to stalker as she shows up at Nikki's, pounding on her door. Can't you tell she's over you? And she's extra pissed that you slept with a man. Sam can't take the criticism and rejection though. If she can't have Nikki no one will. She forces open Nikki's door, throwing Nikki to the ground. While she's dazed, Sam takes the opportunity to kill her. She then decides to stop in at Alice's since she's the one that told Nikki.
When Sam arrives, Alice soon can tell something is wrong. She tries fighting Sam off, but once again Sam kills a friend. And of course the next logical step after killing is to call up that one customer from your work that's been hitting on you, and inviting him over.
So he shows up, and in spite of the fact that clumps of her hair are missing, she's got the teeth of a Mountain Dew addict, one eye is blank, and her lip is scabbed over, this guy decided that he's down to bone. Ooo and she feels so good, right? Wrong. After a few pumps he realizes Sam is crazy bleeding all over his junk, and when he pulls out maggots fall to the floor. Gross! Guy freaks out (as he should have from the start) and rushes to the bathroom to clean off. Unfortunately he finds Alice's body in the bath tub. What to do?!
Sam leaves Alice's and gives her mom a ring. Her mom all of a sudden is concerned about her and her whereabouts. Sam, however, passes out at the wheel. When she comes to, the man has arrived, as well as her mom, and has her car surrounded. She gimply swats at the armed officers, while her mom calls to her. Sam rushes her mother, and finally we see that Zombieism is an STD. And guy from the party (BJ) is spreading it.

Image from http://i1095.photobucket.com/albums/i461/gokbiloz/ARNT4/7_zps6a943829.jpg~original

Above is a picture of Sam, halfway through her demise. Don't you want to get with that, just like random guy at the end of the movie? NO! Not to say she's ugly, but simply because any good samaritan would think this looks like a person in distress. She needs medical help. But no. Instead Nikki is too caught up in their breakup and Sam's 'confused' sexuality, Alice is too upset that Sam didn't turn herself into the police, guy from restaurant is too horny, mom thinks she's just a crack head, and Samantha is just dumb. Like I said earlier, can't even feel bad for them. Stupid people suffer avoidable consequences.
Additionally, if your employee came to work looking like that, wouldn't you want her to leave immediately and seek medical aid? Gosh people.

Image from http://i.imgur.com/l0Lxien.png

This movie spans 3 days too, which makes it worse. This pic above is Samantha before things go way south. So within a matter of days she goes from looking like that to this:

Image from https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2EusPCzQlJmes5m_qQdUsFcYHxgzqBJyj7yEkIK-0-Oz8UpJ47dQschbET7LGMNmA-P2hWBwiq1SOICXlmOMEFNZPfBdfp2-wC22uuZOrk4Yuli0uURXDc2r9JLlwnFtPwlj2buc8snGO/s1600/contracted-01.jpg

No one, not even herself, was particularly concerned about this immediate transformation. Whatevs.
The one good thing I have to say about it is it's an interesting opinion of how people become zombies.

Banshee Chapter (2013)

Banshee Chapter (2013)
Directed by Blair Erickson
Written by Blair Erickson and Daniel J. Healy

Image from http://www.movieinsider.com/m9385/the-banshee-chapter/

Banshee Chapter is a film about a young female journalist looking for her missing best friend who has got himself caught up in a horrific CIA experiment.

After college, best friends Anne and James sadly drifted apart. Anne went on her journey to become a journalist, while James began research on a book about MKUltra. He had received a sample of the drug from his friends in Colorado, and decided to partake in it on tape. Another friend of James' recorded his trip. Unfortunately James wasn't hallucinating what was happening to him. After ingesting the drug, the radio tuned into a strange station playing was sounded like ice cream truck music overlaid with a young girl talking gibberish. Then a silhouette appeared in the window and something happened...
When James' friend comes around he notices James is missing. He runs about the property frantically looking for his friend and eventually finds him out back. But it's not really James. A look-alike with dark eyes and some red liquid escaping its mouth confronts the friend. Next thing the friend knows he's being pinned for James' disappearance, but shortly after his interrogation he disappears himself.
Anne see's this as an opportunity for an amazing story and to find James. Her first research is reviewing the friend's tape. She then tracks down a man who may be able to identify what that weird radio broadcast is. An older gentleman at an electronic repair shop says yes, he has heard this before. And Anne's best bet of hearing it again is out at a particular lonely stretch of highway late at night. But when she goes there and hears what she's been searching for, something beyond the comfort of her car prompts her to make a quick getaway.
At the officer her boss, Olivia, has another tape for Anne. It's a tape from the MKUltra experiments showing living subjects being injected with liquid extracted from the brain of a dead patient. The tape then goes blank for the last half. It is sent away to see of what was originally recorded in that black space can be extracted, and in the mean time Anne sets out to find author Thomas Blackburn.
She got the tip to see Blackburn after she told a coworker James had got the drug from his 'friends in Colorado', and a coworker remarked "Like the book title?"
The book Friends in Colorado is then presented to Anne. It is written by Thomas Blackburn so Anne believes he is actually the one who supplied James with the substance.
Blackburn, not talking with journalists anymore, is greeted in a bar by Anne, under the alias of Sarah, a big Blackburn fan. Blackburn invites her back to his place, where she meets Callie. Callie is mixing up some MKUltra for them to enjoy, and Blackburn gives some to Sarah in a shot glass, before going to his liquor cabinet to get them another drink. While his back is turned Sarah chucks the MKUltra, then gladly takes the new drink from Blackburn. Slyly he confronts her about her true identity saying he knew it from the get-go. And that he actually put the drug in her drink, not in the shot she threw away...
Angered, Anne retreats to the bedroom upstairs where Callie is sitting. Callie is looking wide-eyes out the window claiming something is coming for them, something is close, something can see her and she doesn't like it. Weirded out Anne goes back downstairs to hear that ice cream truck recording and something banging on the door to get in. Blackburn, Callie and Anne hole up in the bedroom while the thing tries to break through the bedroom door. The place goes dark and the door opens. Blackburn and Anne are knocked out, and when they come to Callie is gone. The two of them get the hell out of there.
When they stop to regain composure the radio tunes into that noise again, and Blackburn starts to convulse. His eyes roll back and his orifices bleed. Anne guns it out of their until they're out of reach of the signa;.
With their nerves returning Anne insists they go to Callie's house to make sure she's ok. Perhaps they all just hallucinated all of this.
Blackburn directs her to the house she had been squatting in. He waits in the car, still a mess from the earlier incident, but gives Anne a walkie talkie to stay in touch.
As Anne approaches the front door of the house, it looks like someone's been here... She heads to the basement where Blackburn says she makes her concoctions, and he finds formulas for the MKUltra, as well as security camera feeds from around Callie's house. She sees Callie's form enter between the time at Blackburn's and now. Then the figure goes to the basement, and walks into a shadowed corner just minutes before Anne arrives. And she never sees her leave... Paranoid, Anne approaches the stairs by the corner slowly, having grabbed what papers she could. Halfway up the stairs a hand grabs her, and in a panic Anne flees back to the car. The the two drive.
Blackburn explains that the MKUltra drug isn't really for a regular trip. He theorizes it's a chemical catalyst that makes your mind a receiver for something. And that something hones into your location once you've ingested the drug. Your can tell it's near from the radio, and when it gets you, you're gone, but your body remains. It wears you.
Fearing for them, Anne points out to where she thinks it all originated from based on the papers from Callie's house, and suggests they burn it to hell. Blackburn tells her she doesn't have to. She can just walk away. Because he didn't actually give her the drug.
He had lied to her like she lied to him. But this doesn't make Anne feel safer, because James' friend went missing too. They finally resolve to go the origin and destroy it.
They arrive at what looks like a bunker with a broadcast antenna on top. Inside the rooms that were in the experiment tape are all around them. Finally they find one room with a tank and some sort of giant computer hooked up to it that's still running. The tank has one window. Anne crouches to peer inside and pale face presses against it. Then the radio signal begins. Blackburn begins to fit, and before he is taken by the signal, he shoots himself. Anne flees down the hall in fright, to be confronted by a strange humanoid figure. Wearing James' clothes.
She runs back to the room, locks the door and douses the place in gasoline from the car. The thing is coming for her at the door but she manages to set the gas alight before she's taken too.
Soon afterwards Anne finds herself at a police station. It looks similar to the one James' friend was held at for interrogation at the beginning. Her boss arrives and is glad she's safe, but advises against her story. They'll call her crazy. But Anne doesn't know what else to say. Olivia mentions to her that the company was able to extract the buried footage on the tape, but says the content isn't important right now. She wants to know is Anne is sure she didn't have any of the drug. She says yes, but then the intercom starts plating the ominous ice cream truck music again. Frantically Anne screams for the police to let her out of the investigation room, and when she turns around she finds Olivia at her neck, black eyes and bleeding from the mouth like James from the tape.

Image from http://www.screendaily.com/reviews/the-latest/the-banshee-chapter/5059526.article

So this movie really freaked me out. Yes is is low budget, but the film handled that well. It felt like the crew said "We only have this much money and time, so let's make a top notch film on a tiny budget by really focusing the money where is needs to go."
Within the first ten minutes I jumped around twice. I don't usually get phased by horror movies, but this one did it.
I don't understand why ratings aren't higher for this film on IMDB. I'd recommend to a horror fan who also likes to think a little. To top it off, it's one of those films based on other stories, like how Devil's Pass is based on the real hikers who went missing in the same area so long ago.
I didn't know this going in, but the MKUltra experiments were a real thing and may very well still be. Like it says in the movie, the experiments were intended to figure out a recipe for mind control. Tons of people, an unknown number, were used as test subjects without knowing. Perhaps it's still happening now too. I'm not a huge conspiracy theorist, but we've seen what the US government does to it's own citizens and the rest of the world with or without their knowing and/or approval, so I really unfortunately don't see this film as far fetched.
It is disheartening to know there are people within high ranks of the government that can literally go whatever kind of experiments they want on knowing or unknowing test subjects and get away with whatever the consequences to the subjects are. And that taxes go to fund things like this...
We can hope this isn't continuing in the USA, but...
Anyway, good thinking film. I'd also like to add I've only watched through this once so far, but the interrogation room from the beginning with James' friend and the one from the end with Anne looked similar to me. This prompts me to believe that the police knew on some level what was going on, and perhaps they were being controlled themselves by some successful version of MKUltra, so they purposefully stuck Anne in a room with a receiver in order to take care of their problem.
Also worthy of note, this isn't a typically blockbuster with love stories and such going on. Yes, Anne considers the possibility that maybe her and James should have been something. But they don't live happily ever after. There's no sex, or nudity to keep attention. Just a good story without those stupid movie crutches.
And finally, the end of the credits don't play some catch pop song. Instead the last thing you hear is the broadcast. And it is eerie...

you don't know me

you don't know me (2008)
Directed by Sean Melia


Awesome short film. I love how clean and concise it is.

Watch it here.

Image from SeanMelia.com

So Michael, an old college friend is having a party and Neil and his girlfriend Stefanie come over. Neil is trying to become YouTube famous so he's devised a plane to get more views than ever. He plants some Flip cameras around his friend's house, and waits for the party to end.

When it's over and everyone else is gone, Neil goes to get his friend. He tells Michael that there's been... an accident. In Michael's room where Neil and Stefanie went to screw, like Stefanie. She's dead, Neil claims. Calmly Michael goes back downstairs and gets a beer for Neil. Then they talk about how they'll get rid of the body.

Michael gets a saw, a knife, garbage bags, and suitcases. He plans to drain Stefanie, cut her up, and roll her out of the place. Has Michael done this before? They go back to the bedroom. "Neil, what's going on?" Stefanie, alive, asks Neil in a panic. "Stefanie, run!"

A simple plan to scare Michael nuts and get it on camera has revealed that he's not who they thought at all.

Michael goes after Niel first, closing Stefanie into the bedroom. Soon he returns to the door.

"Is this part of the movie?"
"Yes! Yes, this is part of the movie," Michael answers.
Stefanie huddles with the sheets, and a motor of some kind is heard beyond the door...

~~~

Incredibly low budget, but this simple story doesn't call for a huge one anyway. I enjoyed it. I though Michael's (played by Michael Hogan) acting was good. I would have like a crisper picture, cleaner sound, and a little better lighting, but they're not bad in a way that distracts. It's a great short that could be greater with these changes is all. I think this is an inspiration to young filmmakers who are trying to do it all on their own and do it well. You don't have to have amazing cameras or special effects. At the core, it's about a well-said story. A horror movie that didn't show any violence, but got it's fear factor from the implications.

I don't know much about the director, Sean Melia. The IMDB page is pretty barren and there hasn't been any recent talk about him online that I've found. I hope to see his name more though. He seems to be pretty to-the-point in his art, as evident by no superfluous junk in this short, as well as his web site.

Image from http://www.openfilm.com/reviews/videos/meliasean-you-dont-know-me

So yes, very good, very good. Would recommend.

Entity

Entity (2012)
Directed by Steve Stone


A good movie to watch alone at night. Only really 2/5 though. This film has a good amount of potential, but at the end when the film has built up to possibly be something really cool it goes the other way and just sort of flatlines. Just sort of ends.

Image from www.entitythemovie.com


A tv show crew from Darkest Secrets goes to Russia when they hear about a bunch of unidentified bodies found in the woods. Russian Yuri tells them no information beyond the fact that there were unidentified bodies found was ever released from the government. The host, and two cameramen are lead by psychic Ruth. The locates the area in the woods where the bodies were found but senses a building through the woods where the people were brought from.

The group follows her and ends up at a building first claimed by Yuri to be for industrial use. Upon exploration they find that isn't true. Ruth wants to leave but host Kate pressures her to continue. It them becomes clear this was set up somewhat like a sanitarium.

When exploring a nearly barren room with only a bed, Ruth is attacked. She's disrupted something. When the group turns around they find crewmember David is missing. They set up a base camp in another room with Ruth rests and scrub through their camera footage for signs of David. It looks like he's just wandered off. Kate and cameraman Matt go to search for him.

While those two are gone it's revealed to Ruth that Yuri knows more about this place than he's be owning up to. After prying, Yuri admits he's here searching for someone -- a long lost love, Tasha. Tasha was a psychic and one day she just went missing. Yuri heard of psychics being captured and used for government and military experiments. He's sure this is where she was brought, and eventually killed like everyone else.

Yuri coaxes Ruth into helping with his gun. Meanwhile Kate and Matt find David, but only after something else has. In the darkness he's tossed around like a rag doll so the two flee back to base. Once there, Yuri forces them all to assist him in his search before he'll let them go. But once they begin searching, the entity finds them. A door separated Yuri from the group. He gets a glimpse of his Tasha, but is then claimed by something else.

Ruth then insists Matt and Kate escape while she tries to talk to the spirits, or at least buy them time. When almost out, Kate persuades Matt to go back with her for Ruth. They find her by the room where the thing was 'disturbed'. Then they retreat to their base to hold out till light. Unfortunately they don't make it. Matt goes to gather the cameras but something gets him. Kate goes to investigate what's taking him so long, only to find his body. Cornered she becomes pray as well.

When she awakens she's in that room again. She walks around to find her crew and Yuri. They say nothing, save for Ruth. In Russian she tells Kate that she'll never leave. She returns to her room, then disappears. Ruth, or whatever is in her body, walks away into the forest.

Image from www.entitythemovie.com

So the pacing is a little wonky. The movie is under 90 minutes and it takes about an hour for Yuri to reveal the real reason he told the TV show about the bodies. Acting is okay. I don't know that the characters were fully developed. Like why would Kat push Ruth to continue in the beginning but then go back for her in the end? If she had been jaded as a TV host from a lot of bogus leads in the past, then they should have explained that in the film. Out of the blue David becomes afraid of bears and wolves when they walk through the woods too. Totally felt from left field. Just bizarre stuff.

Colour correction for the film is a typical highly desaturated horror blue. There's little in terms of music, but that's because as a semi found-footage type film, all the ambient noises were important to hear. I do appreciate that this was a hybrid of found footage and regular third person omnipotent POV. It was nice to not have another poopy found footage film.

There's a lot of unanswered questions in the film, but not necessarily pot holes, meaning this film can leave you thinking. If you watch with a friend you'll be able to speculate a lot of stuff. Like is the reason the government didn't say anything else about the bodies because they knew where they were from and didn't want anyone else getting involved with the disgruntled spirits? Ect.

Worth a watch if you're bored at night. Otherwise, not that great.

Creepypasta Movies

 Silence=copy of Slender Man, yes?
Image from tumblr

I recently found out there's a Slender Man feature length movie! Called up a friend and was all like "Did you know there's a Slender Man movie?" And then I was all like "It would be awesome if there was a Rake mov---OMYGOSH THERE'S A RAKE MOVIE! Just found it on youtube!" And then I watched it, and I watched The Slender Man with my friend, and then I watched Windigo (a Slender Man movie).

The Slender Man was great. The Rake was good. Windigo sucked.

Windigo (2011)
Vince Emerson Media
Directed by James Hardiment

Oh my gosh, Windigo was bad! It was like no one had any sense of pacing.
So you got your group of students filming a documentary. Their topic is deforestation. They have two actors, a selfish impatient girl, and an oblivious idiot guy. The group is camping out on the property of the camera man's uncle, and the camera man's uncle is dirty creep by the way. The uncle is wearing the same shirt in the beginning and the end. I guess he could have done his laundry, but it's a weird choice in a movie. So the kids are trying to get interviews with locals on how deforestation has effected their professions. Most of the people either don't know what that means or like deforestation. So the kids bicker and fight amongst themselves, an Slender Man pops up here and there.

If a ninety minute movie takes seventy minutes to start, there's something wrong. Yes there are shots with Slender Man lurking the background here and there, but they're few an far between. Man it was just so bad. And yes we get there a large amount of time is going by. Yes a few days is going by. That doesn't mean you have to make the film a few days long! You edit to give a sense of time passing but cut things to keep the audience interested. Basically it could have had a shot at being good if it was compressed to maybe forty minutes.

The Rake (2011)
Enter Viral
Ken Collins

Which leads me to The Rake. I understand it was a zero budget film shot in two days. I'm not sure how long it took to edit. But basically in spite of lots of factor threatening to depreciate the ambitiousness of the film, it was well done! It was a group of dudes doing stupid boy stuff. Nothing in their actions was unbelievable either, so great job with that too! Boys do stupid things, like think they can survive in the wilderness with five bottles of water and probably no spring water filtration system. People do stupid stuff.
Three friends agree to go camping in the forest of a mountain for a month. Their goal is to be cut off from the outside and just be wilderness dudes for a while. Unfortunately after the first night one of the boys go missing. The two other wait for a while before deciding to look for him. They go towards what they believe are his screams but find nothing. Eventually another boy is stolen right out from the tent, and the one person remaining decides to make a run for it towards a road by an abandoned mine. But something gets him first.
Simple story. Not confusing. Easy to follow. It was under an hour and edited well enough to hold the audience. It had good pacing too. There are comments in youtube making criticisms here and there, but I didn't find any of them degrading to the film, if I even noticed them at all. If Windigo had edited like The Rake, it would not suck so bad. In my opinion the Rake creature was also really well done. I love how its cameos are sprinkled here and there and you could probably watch through it a few different times and see it at times you didn't notice before. Wendigo on the other hand made it pretty obvious when Slender Man was around. Yes, I understand electronics get messed up by his presence, but there wasn't much effort when hiding him in scenes.

The Slender Man (2013)
SirJohnProductions
Directed by AJ Meadows

The Slender Man was great. I was interested the whole almost eighty minutes. What was nice about that too was there were stories going on aside from merely Slender Man abducting people. The side stories all rooted from that, but there were compelling in their own way. I would equate it to how Game of Thrones has a million different stories, but eventually they all cross paths. Wendigo's side story of a bunch of kids making a documentary wasn't compelling at all. The characters were so winy you couldn't even feel bad when something happened to them! Plus their side story was about little kids making a documentary on deforestation. It's not like that's a horrible topic but they literally got no where with it except for explaining the definition of the word. All the characters were too busy wining and complaining to get anywhere else.

In spite of this mixed bag of feelings towards these movies, I honestly do love that there are so many. I love that these are stories that normal people (meaning not necesarily film students and pros) are driven to tell. I love that.
Just to throw this in, there's a theatrical slender Man movie coming out this summer. Entity. A few mixed feelings just towards the fact that this is going to be in select theatres based on demand, while pretty much everything else is free to watch on youtube, but oh well. I also don't like how Entity's t-shirt implies Slender Man is the devil, unless this movie actually is about Satan, who is for some reason faceless, extremely tall, and in a suite. But that would be really stupid. Anyway, trailer for Entity below:

Entity (2013)
East Bay Entertainment

The Slender Man (2013)
Scream1210 Productions
Directed by Michael Davis

Continuing, there is another movie titled The Slender Man on Scream1210's Youtube channel, which is pretty bad. It centers around a film student trying to unravel the mystery of a town's many missing persons reports. These reports have only became popular after a mother and her baby go missing. This 'film student' sucks at filming! Learn how to hold a camera! There are these amazing things called tripods and camera stabilizers. I don't always get the best shots when I'm shooting, but my footage is still way better than his. And shooting with a consumer camera? That's totally fine. Not everyone can afford amazing prosumer cameras, and you can still get great shots. But not checking sound levels? Oh my gosh, it's bad. The omnipotent third person camera man shots are tolerable (barely), but not the ones the protagonist shoots himself. It's just a bad film.
The film, beyond just the character's bad filming, is bad. The audio levels are inconsistent. And it sounds like lots of the tracks are made with Garage Band. I mean it's acceptable to make music with that program, but this film used just a lot of the ambient sound instruments. The thing with making films with your homies is that every other amateur is probably using similar if not THE SAME tools as you, so you need to try your best to make your use of the tools different. Don't download the most popular free sound effect if there's a lesser known one of the same quality. Don't distract your audience with poor choices on the back end. It's not the greatest when your audience can go 'Aha. I recognize that sound!' It pulls them out of your story.
Anyway, as far as the story goes, the student gets marked by Slender Man to die in five days. And he does. The end.

Below Zero

Below Zero (2011)
Directed by Justin Thomas Ostensen

Furlong (Jack) sitting at laptop getting upset by the typewriter sounds he's hearing.

About a writer, Jack (Edward Furlong), who gets locked in a walk-in meat freezer in the boonies at the orders of his agent. He's supposed to be locked up for 5 days to help him get out of his writer's block funk. He sort of describes his writing methods as method writing (a play on the term method acting) so his involvement in his story of course leads his imagination of absorb him completely in some Inception-type action. He's in this disabled meat locker at a chicken-killing house, complete with meat grinder, meat hooks, and electric bath. Great fuel for a story right? So he type, but then his laptop is mysteriously replaced with a typewriter in his sleep. His ideas he writes and the film gets lived out in his vivid imagination. He writes himself in and kind of breaks the fourth wall doing so. I know this is a pretty weak description but it's a film about a writer writing a film, who gets sucked into his idea about a writer sucked into a writer writer a film so it's wiggly. As a character Jack goes between being him and a Frank, the enigmatic missing husband of the woman's chicken slaughter house he's staying at.

Anyway, the woman whose property he's being locked up at and her son come back (whether it's been 5 days or a night isn't clear) for Jack. In Jack's mind a million crazy things have happened in the time he's been in his room. But the main one being he's decided not to write. Instead Jack the Hack takes the girl's manuscript, which she left with him to try to get some feedback, planning to claim it as his own. When the girl comes in to give him coffee he steps out and closes her in the freezer, takes her son, and leaves her for dead.

This film got my interest because Edward Furlong stars in it. I like that he is a great actor that dabbles in drama and b-movies. I enjoyed him in American History X and Arachnoquake XD
In spite of my superficial reasoning, I was pleased with the film. It's got pretty bad ratings on IMDB, but it wasn't as bad as IMDB claims. It was definitely... different.

The editing is kind of second rate for the firs third of the film. There's a lot of little inconsistencies between camera angles and you notice em with some scenes cutting from one angle to the other. I really also hate that Jack's friend is eating when he get's the message from Jack that says he's in trouble. The friend calls the number back and mentions how his friend called and he's fracking eating?! What kind of friend is that? His homie has been missing for hours and he's just eating. Then the friend somehow finds the place with the phone number and ends up dying for Jack. Weird relationship... 'I'll die for you but I gotta finish this slice first.'

However Michael Berryman and Edward Furlong are in it so I forgive. Berryman is an amazing actor who has been in a good chunk of anything you've seen—The Lords of Salem, The Devil's Rejects, The Crow (2005), Spy Hard, The Crow, Tales from the Crypt, Star Trek IV and V, and tons more. He's got an amazing face. It's crazy awesomely distinct and riddled with amazing wrinkles and creases. The tight shots on him in the movie looked great.

Just look at those amazing features! On screen is where Berryman belongs. Thank you, Mr. Berryman, for being so awesome!

Battle for Terra

Battle for Terra (2007)
Directed by Aristomenis Tsirbas

Giddy. Image from http://www.aceshowbiz.com/still/00003527/terra11.html

In an alien village of towering mushroom trees lives a girl and her father. These aliens don't have legs and fly. They propel with a swimming motion and are kind of leaf shaped. Although they can fly they use other flying contraptions equatable to motorcycles or cars to get places faster or move more people.
It's another peaceful day in this town when the sun is eclypsed. Dozens of tiny lights rain from the sky and turn out to be invading fighter ships. They're capturing the native people to run tests on and who knows what else. The girl, Mala, is distressed to see her father get abducted. Unable to tolorate losing her only other parent Mala tried to get abducted to get reunited.
None of the ships take her so she decided to take them. In her flying machine she manages to take down a ship. After it's crashes she finds the pilot unconscious and losing oxygen. Back at her home the pilot, Jim's rover unit tells Mala how she can create oxygen so he doesn't die. Giddy is able to teach her English, and Mala follows the instructing, driven by the hope that this human will be able to get her to her father.
Once concious Jim says he needs to get to his ship. If Mala helps him get to his ship, he'll take her to her dad. Mala eagerly agrees.
When they return the site of the crash the ship is gone! Giddy's sensors indicate it's been dragged off to a part of Mala's planet, Terra, where no one goes. They follow Giddy and end up at the ruins of an old civilization, and to Mala's surprise there are people there! One of her people's ships lands and the group follows it to get in. However once inside they're surrounded. With Jim's ship in sight, he takes Mala hostage in order to get to it. The three get inside and take off.
Jim approaches his home ship and docks. Mala is instructed by Jim to stay in his ship and wait for him. He has to be debriefed and scanned then he'll be back. Jim is greeted by his best friend who was worried Jim died, then drilled for information about the natives by higher-ups.
During all this Mala grows impatient. She's brought her respirator so she'll be able to filter the oxygen, and she grabs a laser gun from the cockpit that she'd seen Jim use.
Snooping around the ship eventually leads her to a holding chamber. Whether her people are dead inside or not is unclear. Her father in the connecting room is still alive, but very very weak. Mala attemps to push his stretcher out and make it back to Jim's ship but her father and her are tailed by two men. Not wanting anything bad to become of his daughter, Mala's father grabs the gun, throws her back in the room with her people and shuts the door on her. He shoots wildly at the men and the room, eventually breaching something resulting in all of them getting sucked into something and dying. Mala, heartbroken in the next room, sees all this through the glass. She collapses on the floor and is taken prisoner.
Jim tried to convince his supervisor, Hemmer, that the people are peaceful and they need to think of a way to get more oxygen for the humans without destroying the Terrans. Hemmer disagrees. He's taken over the government and the home ship. He demands that the terraformer be sent to the planet as soon as possible. It'll take a week for the planet to get converted to breathable oxygen, and as it is the ship only has two months of oxygen left. Hemmer begins to worry where Jim's loyalties lie.
On the other side of a one way mirror Jim sees Mala calling for help. She's in a room full of breathable air for her. Jim's best friend is then thrown in and begins to suffocate. Hemmer explains to him he has two options. He can press the red button and the room will fill with oxygen, saving his friend but killing Mala. Or he can let him die and show where his new allegiance lies.
Unable to kill his friend Jim presses the button. Mala begins to choke on the oxygen. Not wanting Mala to die either, Jim quietly orders Giddy to save her. Giddy breaks the glass and leads Mala to Jim's ship. Once inside they make a break for it back to Terra.
Back home Mala is asked to tell all she knows about the humans' plans. She tried also to get Giddy to explain, but he's unsure if his first allegiance lies with her or with Earth Force. Because Jim has ordered her protection, Giddy finalizes on helping Mala.
The Elders of Terra also reveal that in the ruins where Jim's ship had been held is a secret army base, in case of invasions like this. The Elders had once been at war, but because of the near total destruction the survivors started new lives teaching nothing of hate or war. However the past is now coming in handy.
The flying machines they have at this base are much more sophisticated than the ones ever other Terran uses. They actually stand a chance against Earth Force.
Hemmer launches the attack the the fighter ships on both sides take flight. Things look promising until Hemmer calls for backup.
The terraformer hits Terra's surface and begins producing oxygen. The residents of a nearby village being to suffocate. Seeing all these innocent civilians choking, Jim decides he can't go through with supporting the humans. Knowing he'll get closer than anyone else, human or Terran, to the terraformer before being suspected he becomes a martyr.
Rockets go straight through the machine, killing Hemmer. Mala sadly watches as Jim's ship explodes. The battle is over. But at a great cost on both sides.
The home ship still in space, Mala feels terrible for all the humans that have nothing to do but wait to die. The Elders assure her, there is always an alternative.
Some time later, Mala and her best friend, Senn, are racing through the clouds. They're approaching a large dome. It's a small part of her planet where the humans are able to terraform. The species can intermingle on Terra now with their respirators.
In the middle of the dome a large statue is under construction.
It's Jim, staring our to the stars.

Mushroom tree village. Image from http://www.transmissionfilms.com.au/index.php/battle-for-terra/

This films was alright. It definitely had a lot of feels towards the end.
The animation is meah. Things are pretty limited. Basically it seemed like in order to have to not worry about a lot of things, like leaves or grass or hair, the settings went where they did. The giant mushroom-topped trees the Terrans live in have a couple giant leaves on them, like maybe a dozen. All the Terrans are bald, and on the home ship it's pretty militant in attitude and dress so everyone is bald or close to it. They're also all in simple tight-ish uniforms so all that fabric secondary moment is not needed. Ect. Ect. I guess I'm just getting at it's a lot easier if all your materials have a shiny texture or matte texture to them. And if they're still or unmoving completely like metals. You don't have to deal with fabric folds then.

Modeling and stuff get's more complex towards the end of the film, when the battle sequences are going on. All of a sudden you have all these spaceships and Terran ships and explosions and blood. So it was nice from an animation standpoint for a change.

Jim's death was interesting. He really did become a martyr for these two races, so they'd find another way. A better way. The spaceships are shaped like plus signs for the humans, and the pilot sits in a bubble in the middle. During the final battle a couple of the wings on Jim's ship get clipped. There's a scene of Jim's ship closing in on the terraformer and Hemmer looking at it through the glass. It's like a cross. And then they both die.

For all the Terrans' weird flying things, they could sure use an astrologer. Not only did the rain catch them by surprise but a giant spaceship that definitely didn't just appear there. Pretty sure it was traveling for a long time. Their music sucks too XD The jam sessions that kept getting inturruprted in the beginning didn't seem like they were going well.

Funny part of the movie is when one of the humans says "It's a trap!" in the end battle. I literally paused it at that point and went to watch Admiral Ackbar say it on youtube.

The voice acting in the film is amazing. It's a lot of screen actors, not voice actors, doing the voices so it's extra impressive. Giddy, played by David Cross (Tim and Eric, Year One, Men in Black), and Evan Rachel Wood (Across the Universe, Thirteen, True Blood) did exceptional work. Also in it was Justin Long, who had been in Alpha and Omega, which I recently talked about on here too.

It was an okay one time watch. The storyline wasn't horrible. Definitely one of those go-green movies. However, it came before most of the ones that people complain about. Avatar was 2009, WALL-E was 2008. Yes there were many before that, and there will be many more. I just think it's something worth keeping in mind as you pass judgement.

This movie was better than Planet 51 by a long shot if that helps you make a decision.

There is also no love interest (except between the Terrans and their love for their home planet) which is nice. A movie without that is sometimes hard to come by in North America.

Mala and Giddy escaping the home ship back to Terra. Image from http://www.kpbs.org/news/2009/may/01/battle-terra/


Finally here's some more cool info about the movie. So this feature-length was actually based on a short that was written, directed, and animated by the same director.
Check it out.



In honesty I think I like the short better. Not in terms of quality, but purely story. The American flag with a million stars is genius! Really threatening too.
In terms of technicalities, this short, in my opinion, is great. The score by Matt Messina is awesome. I love how the horns build uneasily. I really do. At first it was abrasive, but it's supposed to be. It's supposed to make you feel uneasy. I'd recommend the short to anyone. If you really love the short then maybe the film is for you.

Speckles the Tarbosaurus

Speckles the Tarbosaurus (2012)
Directed by Han Sang-Ho

Five/five stars! This movie is great! Really great!

Speckles and his family

Speckles, a young Tarbosaurus (very similar species to the t-rex) is the youngest in his family. Only 1 year old, Speckles is dwarfed by his older twin sisters, 10 year old brother, and mother. His mother and siblings usually hunt without him, but one day Speckles decides he's going to join in on the action and no one can stop him. Unfortunately someone else has the same idea. One Eye, a Tyrannosaurus rex, has been watching the Tarbosaurus from a distance for a while, but sees an opportunity to get close in this hunt.

Big brother, Quicks, is about to start chasing their prey, but Speckles rushes out before him. Speckles runs towards some large herbavores, but instead of running away they head straight back towards him! Something has scared the herd back in the direction of Speckles' family!

The stampede threatens to squash tiny Speckles but Quicks runs in just in time to save him, sacrificing himself. Meanwhile his sisters are trapped between the stampede and the edge of a cliff. Mom rushes through the stampede to get to her girls, but is knocked down.

When she gets up it's too late. The twins have fallen over the edge, like so many other dinosaurs in the stampede. Mom cries in sorrow as the stampede comes to and end, and the catalyst reveals itself. One Eye, the one-eyed t-rex is who started the stampede. And now he aims to take down Mom.

Tiny helpless Speckles can only watch horrified at One Eye pushes his mother over the edge too. One Eye roars in victory, now the dominant hunter of the area. Speckles seeks refuge in the forest, away from larger animals, hoping only to somehow survive on his own. Years go by and Speckles runs into One Eye again. Watching from the sidelines, Speckles sees One Eye take down a therizinosaurus, maybe the same kind of animal that took his eye to begin with.

While eating, One Eye is approached by a smaller Tarbosaurus about the same age and size as Speckles. While One Eye is chasing her away, Speckles using the opportunity to steal some of One Eye's lunch. Safely away from One Eye, Speckles eats and is joined by the other Tarbosaurus. Good thing she got away. From then on the female Tarbosaurus, Blue Eyes, and Speckles are inseparable. They grow up together and become a hunting team.

When they're ten the two have another encounter with One Eye. While waiting to ambush their prey, One Eye appears at the sink hole the two hunt at. One Eye knocks Blue Eyes down on her leg then goes in for the kill. Before he has the change to finish her off, Speckles clamps down on his leg.

From the corner of his eye Speckles sees Blue Eyes get up and hobble away. However now Speckles has to figure out a way to lose One Eye. He decides to draw him into the sink hole. It seems to work, and the Tarbosaurs regroup. Unfortunately somehow One Eye has gotten out of the muck. Exhausted, he roars at the Tarbosaurs. He probably would have tried again to finish them off but he's tired from dragging his tons and tons of weight our of the mud. Speckles and Blue Eyes leave.

The two go far away and eventually get a spot of luck. They follow a herd of dinosaurs to a hot spring. The relaxation and warm water heals Blue Eyes.

Ten years later the two are still together. In face they're waiting for their eggs to hatch. In the mean time the two have found a nest.

Speckles (left) and Blue Eyes (right)

One day while eating in their nest overlooking their new home, the rocks from the hill they live on begin to fall. The two look up to see a boulder coming at them! Speckles pushes Blue Eyes out of the way and the boulder forces him over a cliff.

One Eye pushed that boulder down the hill and now he's after Blue Eyes! She give it her best shot, but One Eye takes her down. She falls, on the same side One Eye had pushed her all those years ago. She seems to submit to him. One Eye is possibly trying to steal Blue Eyes from Speckles, not kill her, so he can mate with her, and so be it that he has to use force.

Before he can kill her, or mate with her (whichever he was trying to do), Speckles appears! He had fallen off the cliff and into the pool below. The giants fight, and Speckles wins! One Eye leaves defeated, and the couple has the chance to get Speckle's old nest back.

Their eggs hatch and they have three children. One of them, Jr., looks just like Speckles except for his mother's eyes. Things go well for a while, when a volcano explodes. The family flees. The world is collapsing around them and a rock lands on one of the babies. Blue Eyes and Speckles stop to try to push the boulder off, but Speckles seeing it's useless snatched up his other child. Pushing Jr. out of the way of another rock Blue Eyes is hit, in the same leg! Luckily the remaining four make it to the tail end of a herd, but there doesn't seem to be any rest in sight. The herbivores are on the move to try to find a new, safe forest, and the carnivores have to follow their food.

Unfortunately the leg wound is too much for Blue Eyes. She falls to the ground and raptors begin to attack. Speckles fights them off as long as he can, but for the sake of his children has to leave her body behind.

Weeks pass and eventually the herd sees green. There is one more hurdle to cross before they're at their new home--a long, thin, serpentine land bridge. The herd presses on.

It seems like salvation is near when One Eye strikes again! He drives the herd back, creating another stampede. Speckles is stuck on one side, his children on the other, riding the edge of the ocean! The stampede passes and the three of them are alive. That soon changes when One Eye head butts one of the babies over the edge. Only Speckles and Jr. are left.

In their battle Jr. is flicked over the edge by One Eye's tail. Speckles does the same to One Eye, sending the beast into the ocean. Both have survived though, and One Eye is heading for Jr.! Speckles dives off the cliff, determine not to let One Eye take his son.

They have an epic underwater battle. All the commotion attracts some tylosauruses, giant underwater carnivores that make t-rexes seem small. It seems like One Eye and Speckles will kill each other when a tylosaurus snatches One Eye up. The villian is brought to the depths of the ocean as a snack, and Speckles catches up with his son.

Exhausted and fading fasts Speckles sees that the battle has drawn them far from shore. He swims as hard and far as he can until he blacks out.

When he awakens he's on the beach, his son next to him, just fine. He gets up and the two continue on to their new green paradise.

Young Speckles

This is so much more than I expected! Actually I didn't know what to expect, but this is far better than anything I'd have guessed. The animation is excellent. The sound design is really interesting. The Tarbosaurus are really vocal so you get to listen to their cool voices a lot.

As far as characters that speak, none of them are speaking anything but roars. There is but a single internal narration from Speckles. It's really interesting how there's not a lot of character development but there is at the same time. Speckles grows and has simple motivations, like protecting his family, but some of the ways he does things that get complex or simple in a time of great panic play a lot to how Speckles has grown. For example when he was ten with Blue Eyes he was cunning and somewhat pompous to try to take One Eye down by using the sink hole, but as an adult seeing his kids' trapped on that ledge he tried to rush through a stampede only to get knocked out. Cool stuff.

Great in every way. And you learn too!

So from what I've read Tarbosaurus are very closing related to Tyrannosaurus rex, thus it's not far fetched to think a t-rex that sees a Tarbosaurus might think they can mate. They look really similar too. The Tarbosaurus' head is a lot lighter, and many Tarbosaurus bones are hollow. Bird like, or what? Anyway this is a South Korean film about a pretty much exclusively Asian dinoaur. T-rex are from North America and Tarbosaurus are from Asia.

This film has a horrible rating on IMDB, but no joke it's amazing! I hope Han Sang-Ho gets a chance to do another dinosaur movie!

On a pretty funny note, the credits list the cast members all as just the kinds of dinosaurs that appeared in the film XD

I'm sorry but I can't find Speckles' voice actors. I know IMDB has a few names listed, but I'm not 100% sure I always trust their info. They list Speckles' name are Spotty for goodness sakes, so how do know they're telling the trust about anything else?

Anyway, like many people from my generation, growing up watching Jurassic Park made us want to be paleontologists. Dinosaurs are the coolest! If you like dinosaurs, or if you like dinosaur movies, or if you like awesome scores set to animal battles watch Speckles.

All images in this entry are from the movie's facebook page: www.facebook.com/Tarbosaurus3Dfilm

Alpha and Omega

Alpha and Omega (2010)
Directed by Anthony Bell and Ben Gluck
From Crest Animation Studios (aka Crest Animation Productions)

Cute little film :) Not the greatest animation quality by any means, but a cute movie nonetheless.

Garth after Lilly teaches him how to howl. Image from http://alphaandomegafilm.wikia.com/wiki/Garth

In Jasper Park, Canada, there are two wolf packs on the verge of war. The Northern wolves' territory has little food left to hunt so to survive they're beginning to break a pact by going into the other pack's territory to look for food. The hunters in either pack are called Alphas and the rest are Omegas. Alphas mate with Alphas, Omegas with Omegas.
Childhood friends Kate and Humphrey live in separate castes but Humphrey desparately wants to be with Kate.
Kate unfortunately is promised to the son of the pack leader of the Northern wolves. She and he are supposed to marry, merging the two packs thus avoiding the encroaching war.
On the night Kate is to be introduced to her fiance, Garth, she is repulsed by his howl. The wolves are supposed to howl together, creating a wonderful sound that binds them and will hopefully lead to love and mating. Kate excuses herself to get some water while Garth practices his vocals.
At the watering hole Kate bumps into Humphrey, but while they're together they both get shot with tranq darts and whisked away. When they are released they're in Idaho, brought there by humans in order to populate what's most likely a reserve.
After speaking with a French-Canadian goose and English duck (I think), they find out they can get back to Jasper by hiding in a trailer of some humans that visit there every year. The two sneak in and things go well for a while. Eventually at a pit stop Humphrey leaves the trailer to go to the bathroom but gets distracted by some sweets near the trash.
In the meantime the trailer starts to leave and Humphrey is spotted by some humans. Kate leaves the trailer and jumps the human before he can shoot Humphrey and the two escape into the forest. The goose and duck meet back up with the two and tell them there is another way. There is a train just over a mountain that will take them home. The wolves begin a new journey.
Meanwhile at home the Northern wolves' pack leader gives Kate until the full howling moon to return. If she's not back by then there will be war. In the meantime Kate's little sister, and Omega named Lilly, offers to show Garth around. In doing so Garth and her fall in love.
After a close encounter with some bears on the mountain Kate and Humphrey make it on the train, and arrive back in Jasper just as the battle is beginning. The two sides stop and begin marriage preparations.
The next day Lilly is sad, Kate is nervous, and Humphrey decides to leave Jasper since he can't be with the one he loves. Kate and Garth nearly finish their ceremony when Kate calls it off, saying she can't because she's in love with an Omega. The pack leaders are disgusted, but then Garth proclaims the same thing. Lilly is filled with joy and rushes to Garth.
The Northern wolves' pack leader won't have this though, and directs his pack to take the valley. Fighting commences, stirring a heard or carribou just down the valley into a stampede. The wolves stop fighting in order to seek cover from the beasts. The pack leaders find themselves trapped and Kate needs to save them. Humphrey appears, feeling that he can't leave, and the two toboggan down into the valley on a tree to save the leaders. With the log in the valley they can hide behind it, but before Kate reaches it she's knocked out the hoof of a caribou. Humphrey rushes to her body until the stampede is over. She doesn't get up and Humphrey proclaims his love. All the wolves howl in mourning.
After a little bit Kate's body stirs. The pack leaders decide that maybe these cross-caste loves can work.
That night the wolves howl at the moon.

Humphrey and Kate and flying high fro the tranq darts. http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/alpha-and-omega-film/images/12980483/title/omega-photo

I had been a bit opposed to watching it, mostly because when it was released in theatres in the US I heard nothing about it. It wasn't until the DVD release in January 2011 that I knew of it's existence. It's lack of marketing exposure basically turned me off. If there wasn't the time or money put into advertising the film, how great could this film actually be? Yes, there are lots of films without publicity, but if a children's film with a theatrical release isn't publicized it's almost certainly going to flop. It's one thing if its a horror movie straight to DVD, but a kids' movie needs to be known to make money, or needs to be an incredibly low budget mess like Chop Kick Panda (a limited animation short straight-to-DVD movie) because if no money is put into something there's nothing to lose and tons to possibly gain. It did well financially overall, but I can't say I know anyone else amongst my friends and family and even acquaintances that has seen this film.

Anyway, so I did end up watching Alpha and Omega after reading a few positive reviews. I was sick and cycling through my staple animated movies that I watch on lethargic days, so why not. Again, cute it was. The animation and environments seemed a bit barren, similar to Open Season 2 or Hoodwinked. At one point near the beginning of the film we see two random wolves howling together with just a blank sky and moon behind me. There wasn't a lot of depth in that seen. I mean visual depth. It was like a blue backdrop with a moon. There wasn't a million distant stars, or the tops of trees barely visible in the scene to show some dimension. Eventually the camera pulls out so we can see some environment, but that scene bothered by visually.

The hair is also pretty mediocre. Not the body fur, but the "hair" fur on the heads. It's clumpy and always seems to be bouncing. It may have been a budget choice to go with this kind of hair, but The Incredibles was 2004 so I know there's better animated hair more in tune with physics.

Kate going out to meet Garth and howl. Image from http://cartoonswalls.com/alpha_and_omega_cartoon_desktop_wallpaper-wallpapers.html

From an young animator's perspective I really enjoyed the credits. Movies these days usually have b-roll or little animations in the credits. This film shows it's animation process, from rough sketched to 3D models. Pretty cool to see that without having to buy an art book.

I could have tolerated the film being longer than its 88 minute run time too, just to see more wolves-falling-in-love adventures between Kate and Humphrey to reinforce why Kate ends up falling for the already in love Humphrey. Maybe just one or two little adventures or some witty banter. This film has a lot of adult moments in the dialogue and sometimes in the actions, so some more relationship dialogue doesn't seem too bad. Guess I'll have to check out the deleted scenes.

The character design making the wolves look distinct enough not to get them confused. In movies about animals without clothes studios run the risk of kids not being able to distinguish between main characters.

Just to throw this in here, it's interesting to have some new players on the animated children's movie field. I mentioned Escape from Planet Earth from Rainmaker in a previous entry, and now this film from Crest. There's more and more studios having theatrical or full length movies popping up. They don't seem threatening to the animation powerhouses... yet. Will be interesting to see who comes into play this summer.

If there is a sequel I'm likely to watch it.




BTW in case you find this interesting, this is currently the last released film Dennis Hopper stared in before his death in 2010. There is another film called The Last Film Festival but no release date has been given yet. I think the film is struggling financially at the moment. If filming was completed before Hopper's death, I don't know.

Silence Becomes You

Silence Becomes You (2005)
Directed by Stephanie Sinclaire

First off, let me spare you from the agony that is this film. This one isn't worth your time. It's not like a bad b-movie that you watch for laughs. It's just a bad movie.
Bad pacing, bad writing, confusing confusing confusing story.

Image from http://movie.sanook.com/story_picture/picture/movie/12328/2-9/3

So this is my interpretation of the story.
The film opens with a shot looking down at a girl in a pool getting sprayed with water that's glistening like crystals in the light. Very pretty. But pretty much unrelated to anything.
In a bar a woman is trying to pick up an attractive young man Luke (Joe Anderson). However another woman is eying Luke from another table and Luke chooses the second girl. The new couple leaves the bar together and ends up back at the girl, Violet's ( Alicia Silverstone) huge house.
Luke, drunk, passes out on a bed and Violet and her sister Grace (Sienna Guillory) take off his pants. Let him think he got lucky, I guess.
In the morning the girls tell him that he can stay a few days since Luke is a vagabond. He takes them up on it and grows closer to Violet. In turn this makes Grace jealous, like to the point where she pulls a knife on the poor guy.
Some amount of time passes (it's pretty unclear how much time since the movie has little sense of time), and the trio have pretty much stayed in this house the whole time. Luke's going stir crazy, and eventually Luke and Violet have sex. Luke is falling for her and wants her to leave with him. Grace tries to convince Violet that there's nothing good beyond these walls, including Luke. One day while Violet goes to the market, Grace seduces Luke (though he did protest her advances several times, so good effort Luke!). Violet finds out and runs off into the woods around her mansion in tears. Luke chases after her, telling her something that convinces her they should drive off together. Things seem like they're going to go well for Luke and Violet, but crazy Grace wants her sister back. The girls have some sort of twin stigmata going on, as well as, for lack of a better explanation, voodoo on each other. Grace begins to burn a photo of Violet, and Violet starts getting feverish in the car. Eventually Grace puts out the little fire not wanting to kill her sister. This is apparently enough to draw her back. While Luke sleeps in the passenger seat Violet drives all the way back to her house. Luke awakens furious and gives her an ultimatum--leave now with him or it's over. The sisters convince him to stay just one more night before leaving because Violet has recently announced their pregnancy. Luke agrees. One more night. That's it.
Wanting to 'celebrate' Violet heads to the market to buy food for a feast in her car that Grace has sabotaged. Luke is instructed to stay at the house with Grace and pose for a painting of him. She ends up losing it though and pulls a bow and arrow on Luke.
Violet's car breaks down and she senses something's wrong enough to hurry back to the house after a quick temporary repair. She peers through a window in a door to see her sister's arrow aimed at her lover. A buzzed Luke is more angry than afraid and starts setting the room on fire with a bottle of alcohol. The arrow strikes him dead. Violet has some sort of early miscarriage. Grace is pregnant. And the sisters part ways.

There's lots of other random unhelpful stuff sprinkled here and there in the film too, like implications of child abuse. It's also said that the girls never went to public school, so their sheltered lives explain why they dress so funny. They basically dress how a little girl would dress, except they're grown woman. So they have lots of sequins and ugly tights and just stupid outfits that would only look cute on a 7 year old girl.
There's also a line spoken by the girls' dead father repeated over and over. Something about writing your story in blood so your lead bones will turn into gold. It's just a bunch of poop!

Here, look at a picture of Joe Anderson to help sooth the anguish this movie creates. Image from http://www.fanpop.com/clubs/joe-anderson/images/1873375/title/joe-anderson-photo


Opens like an art film. I found myself thinking "Cremaster Cycle...?" But that thought alone is an insult to Matthew Barney, because Silence Becomes You is a weird mess that doesn't leave you in awe. As one of the thread titles on IMDB puts it, this film was "Undeserving of a theatrical release".

Then after the bar scene the set looks a lot like the outside of the house in The Others with Nichole Kidman.

This movie doesn't successfully convey the passage of time well. It's kinda just a big CF.
And perhaps I'm just too sensative to this, but the audio was killing me. There didn't seem to be any de-essing in the dialogue's audio so my ears, ahh, they hurt :, (

I'd like to also point out that this film was directed, written, and produced by the same person. This feels worthy of pointing out because if you're doing half the roles of making a movie then you run risks of failing because you don't have people with emphasis in one area or another to make better judgement calls than you'd be able to. Nothing Sinclaire has produced has amazing reviews. It's also noteworthy to mention Sinclaire has more of a background in theatre, not film. Not everyone can successfully walk back and forth between cinema and theatre. One of the things that struck me in Silence was some of the comically exaggerated motions, and I thought "What is this? Theatre?" Only after the film ended and I researched the director did I see why I felt that way.

I watched this movie because I really enjoy Joe Anderson's work in The River so I thought I'd give Silence a try. I wouldn't say the actors did a bad job. I blame an undeveloped storyline that has it's characters acting beyond believability. This makes the audience have no empathy for the characters at all!
Nothing was developed! We basically just see Violet and Luke make out and have sex, and we never see any other component of their relationship. Like why are you two in love? Then again, maybe it is just the sex.
Gosh, I just can't get over how underdeveloped the film is. There's like a million little components that could've been fleshed out to better convey what the hell was going on, but every component was just sort of only half done!

If you want to watch something good, go watch The River. Don't watch this.