Mystery Box Review - Electro Threads

Sometimes money can just burn a hole in your pocket, but you don't know what to buy! That's where mystery boxes come in. I LOVE the concept. If a company seems to have enough products that I'd enjoy, then I tend to give the mystery box a go, and Electro Threads was no exception.

Image from Electro Threads' Facebook page (https://www.facebook.com/ElectroThreads/)

Electro Threads does all-over printing on various clothing items, and cool designs on blankets, tapestries, and more. Their website explains that the goal of Electro Threads is to "inspire, uplift, and spread positive vibes throughout the world." All the bright colors (ooo ahhh) and cool designs definitely caught my attention. However, another company (Mr. Gugu and Miss Go) also caught my eye for their collection of all-over printed items. In terms of clothes, I was pretty sure I'd rather get stuff from Mr. Gugu and Miss Go, but the description of the one of the Electro Threads mystery box still had me intrigued.

Get over $100 worth of product for only $49.95. Whats in the Mystery box: It could be a hat, blanket, tapestry, hooded blanket, or even a shower curtain but if we told you what was inside, that would ruin the surprise!

Each box will have products hand picked from our inventory worth over $100 in value.

NO RETURNS, EXCHANGES, OR REFUNDS

The idea of a groovy shower curtain had me hooked! I wanted this mystery box. Get the clothes from Mr. Gugu and get the accessories/home good from Electro Threads, I though. So... I purchased one. And the day soon came when the items arrived. Firstly, they do not come in a box, which was fine. But weird choice of wording to not just call it a mystery bag.
Anyway, I eagerly opened the bag, and... I was disappointed. Pictured below are the contents.

So I was kind of expecting maybe 3-5 cool items. And technically I got 4 items (plus the handful of logo stickers that they give with purchases), but I'm not crazy about em.

We'll start with the big guy in the back of the photo. It's a nice sized cozy blanket with a kind of mandala image. I definitely would never have chosen that design for myself, but it's not hideous.

Image from Electro Threads (https://electrothreads.com/collections/blankets/products/tranquility-blanket?variant=28647744205)

The design is called Tranquility. I'm not in to peace signs. I have mixed feelings on peace in general, so I don't seek out items with peace signs on them. The size of the blanket I received was the Twin 60"x80", which is sold on it's own for $34.95 (price reflects the on-sale price on the website at the time of this post). The tag on the blanket reads Terry Town. I don't know that brand. My guess would be Electro Threads buys the blank blankets from this company, then prints on them. The product page says that the item is hand made in the USA, but the tag leads me to question that.  I don't really mind if the item was made in China. What I do mind is lying.

Tag that says MADE IN CHINA

Screenshot from the Electro Threads product page claiming item was Hand made in the USA!

The blanket is a nice size. It's really soft. It does shed a bit, so not ideal if you're wearing black. But it's not a terrible item overall. I just personally am not a fan of the design. It was a shame to me that out of all the cool designs on their website, I got one I had no interest in.

The next item was a tapestry.

Image from Electro Threads (https://electrothreads.com/collections/wall-tapestries/products/dream-free-tapestry)

I got the small size (32"x42"), which is on sale for $17.47 but regularly $34.95 (https://electrothreads.com/collections/wall-tapestries/products/dream-free-tapestry). And cloth tapestries are just something I've never gotten before. I've never wanted them. I think they're kind of silly. To me they read pot head, and I've only ever seen them used to cover up the windows of pot heads. They're not not my thing, I guess. On top of that, I think this design is repulsive. It's so 'Murica, but in a non-ironic way, that it's not even funny. On top of that, the small size is so small that I thought it was basically an oversized bandana at first. It's a thin material, like bandana material, and light travels through it. I had not gotten the item wet, so I do not know if the colors will bleed/run. If you love eagles, America, dreamcatchers, or a patriotic Aurora Borealis, then perhaps you can appreciate this item. For me, I strongly dislike it. It's folded up and put away in a cupboard for me. I have no use for this. I don't know what the tag says, since I foolishly stored the item before looking.

Last items. 2 bracelets. They are sitting on top of the tapestry in the photo (I know it's hard to see. Sorry about that!).

Image from Pintrest (https://www.pinterest.com/pin/566116615642574801/).

The mystery box came with two of these bracelets. One with blue, black, and white cord. One with solid maroon. Currently these bracelets are not listed for sale on the Electro Threads site, but bracelets that they are currently selling range in price from $8.95 to $0.50. So for the sake of argument let's say the ones I got in the mystery box would have been sold for $4.00. They look fine, I suppose. Positive vibes are a good thing, after all. I guess I was just completely underwhelmed by receiving two of the same thing. It seemed like a copout. Oh well.

All in all, I would not order a mystery box again from Electro Threads. I fully understand that it's a mystery box, thus I shouldn't really complain about what I received. If I knew what I wanted I should have just bought the items individually. Yadda yadda. I suppose that seeing all the stuff on the website that I actually do like made me think the mystery box was going to be full of awesomeness. In all fairness there's probably people out there that think this was a great mystery box. Good for you then. I'm just reviewing based on my opinion, taste, and experience. And for me, I don't need a tiny tapestry, and two the same bracelet. The blanket I at least have a use for.

Regular non-sale prices

Blanket: $54.95

Tapestry: $34.95

2 Bracelets: $8.00 (est $4/each)

Total: $97.90

Proces based on current sale

Blanket: $34.95

Tapestry: $17.47

2 Bracelets: $4.00 (est $2/each)

Total: $56.42

Technically the description of the total value of the mystery box was nearly correct. The total for the items if purchased individually comes to nearly $100. All in all, I will not be buying from Electro Threads again. Not a mystery box. Not an Individual product. This is because of my overall negative experience with the mystery box, and the label that clearly says the blanket was made in China. The whole lying thing (or maybe it's just lack of what part of the item was made in the USA) rubs me the wrong way.

BoardGameGeek CON Nov 2015

I am, as some would say, a geek and/or nerd; I love games (video games, board games, card games, no-stuff-necessary games). To help this love grow, I recently attended BoardGameGeek Con. I'd never been to BGG.CON before, and how sad is that! The convention was AMAZING, and I'd recommend it to anyone who loves games.

BGG.CON went for 5 days (Wed Nov 18-Sun Nov 22). I unfortunately did not attend Wednesday, but as soon as I got my badge on Thursday I was given 4 free games EACH! Here's a photo of a friend and my pile of free games. We went straight back to the car after this so we wouldn't be carrying it around all day.

My day 1 was amazing! I played several new games, and saw a lot of fun and funny stuff. Here's a pic of my 1st day hail. The only thing paid for in this pile is the game of Poop. I had to get it because potter humor never gets old :)

I saw the game of Poop at a table in one of the two exhibitor halls. There were several versions available, and if you bought two or more, they were packaged in a little doggy bag that said "this package contains Poop"! It was hilarious! I decided on the party game version, because it sounds like something a lot of people could get a kick out of. Now for a little more detail about the exhibitor halls. There were two halls, and within them there were publishers, people trying to gain traction for their Kickstarter pages, game component sellers, and more!
Everyone got a bingo card with their badge. The bingo spaces consisted of the different exhibitors. To fill a bingo space, you had to go to the exhibitor listed on your card, talk to them, demo a game, or purchase something. Then in exchange, they had the stickers to fill the spaces. Each line of bingo was worth 10 geekgold, which you can use on BoardGameGeek.com, and once you got a blackout on your card, it could be entered into a raffle.
It took 3 days for my to fill my card.

One of the first booths my friend and I passed was the Japanime Games booth. They had tons of stuff from Krosmaster. As I walked passed it I looked at their little plushie yellow bird thing, and the thought kept repeating in my mind That looks a lot like it's from Wakfu...Eventually one of the people manning the booth asked if we had any questions. I started, "Is this related to-" He cut me off, "Wakfu? Yes. And I have NO IDEA why they didn't just keep the name, since they already had an established fan base."
He then asked if we'd like to demo the game, so we gave it a try. I got a free game figure out of it, and was told there would be a few beginners tournaments going on Friday and Saturday. Both my friend and I entered. Both my friend and I lost. However everyone still got rewarded for their time. We got more of these game figures to use in the future! The pics on the left show the regular Krosmaster Arena board with the default figures that come with it. The terrain pieces, like the boxes, trees, and bushes, DO NOT come with the base game. These are separate items and they cost a LOT. You need to buy two packages in order to fill the base board, and just the terrain pieces will run about $75. The base set comes with cardboard ones, so if you don't want to spend the $75 you'll still have those. However there's a world of difference, and these terrain pieces are awesome.

Haul at the end of my 2nd day. You can see the little figures Japanime Games awarded. The day 2 haul was also buffed by the proto room. There was a room full of games people were testing out. Some of the developers awarded prizes for spending time testing the games and giving feedback. There was a variety of types of games to test. Dungeon crawlers, word games, ameritrash. And it's always satisfying to be able to help someone improve something they believe in.

Here we see just a part of the library! The convention had a library of games that worked just as you'd expect. On the attendees' badges were barcodes. Attendees could pick a game, bring it to the check-out, get he game and their badge scanned, and then have the game for hours! It was amazing. There were some people we talked to that simply spent all of their time at the convention checking out games, and playing them in the ballroom full of tables. In the ballroom there were a variety of signs to attract people to play a game with you, so if you needed more players or a teacher it was no problem. If you can the the con along or with friends, you'd be able to get the players needed for whatever you wanted to play.

 Here's a game that looks like it's been... well loved. Goes to show that you can make a game out of anything. For the record, I did not give this game a try.

I did, however, try this one. The cave was a tile-building game (think Carcassonne). You're exploring an uncharted cave system, but don't wander too far from base camp un prepared or else you'll starve!

Remember how I mentioned a raffle earlier? Well there were tons! During the closing ceremony on Saturday night, many people were winners. There was the raffle from getting a blackout bingo card, plus every attendee also had a regular raffle ticket. Prizes ranged from a bunch of games, to hand-painted boards, to tickets for next year's con, and more!
To the left you'll see my winnings! It was 3 games, 1 expansion, and a calendar that marks regular holidays as well as weird days and conventions.

Saturday was great. My friend and I ended up staying at the con until about 1am, when the library closed. You'll see my Saturday haul in the pic on the right. I ended up buying a copy of Krosmaster Arena after trying the game and losing in a couple beginners tournaments.
This day was the longest one yet. Realizing this convention was fun from the minute it started, to when it ended, my friend and I decided we'd try to utilize the whole day Saturday. The con started at 8am. We arrived around 9am. Then things closed down at 1am Sunday morning. We were definitely sleep deprived by this time, and we could feel our immune systems failing, so we stocked up on juice and vitamins. It was all worth it though.

Sunday was the last day, and also the shortest day. BGG.CON concluded at 3pm on Sunday, so we got there around 9am to make the most of it. There were no panels and speakers on Sunday, which meant most people were just playing the games they bought or checking out the library. We did a mix of both. The best game of the con for us was Dead Man's Draw. This game was a combination of luck and strategy. The game, purely card-based, could also be difficult or hard depending on the set of rules you wanted to follow. It came with 5 alternate scenarios of winning, plus you had the regular game, and the game you could play using a captain's abilities. Essentially it was 7 versions in one. For only $15 I'd recommend it!
Game play: Essentially there are 10 suits, with cards numbered from 2 to 7 (except for one suit that went to 9). The goal of the game is to get the most points. Points are earned by counting the highest number on the cards of all 10 suits that you bank. You earn cards for your bank by blindly pulling from the deck, and flipping them up in the play area (depicted in the photo above). You can draw as many cards as you want, but if you get two of the same suits you bust, and all the cards you drew go in the discard pile. The game ends when the draw pile is depleted. That's the simplest version. Once you understand that, then you can throw in using the suits' abilities. Once you master that you can chose a captain from the captain deck, and use his/her ability. Then once you've gotten all that down, you can change the win scenario.

Sunday sadly eventually came to an end. But it was a great time. This photo is my final haul. Most of the items shown were free.

I ended up only spending money on a few games. I got Poop, Dark Stories 2, Dead Man's Draw, Krosmaster Arena, the terrain pieces for Krosmaster, and a plushie mouse from the game Mice and Mystics.

Plus I got this bag, and my cat approves.

If you enjoy games, then this is definitely a convention I'd recommend. I've been to tons of conventions before, but never a board game convention like this. When I first heard it was a 5-day convention I thought that was crazy! 5 days??? That's too much!
I was wrong. A sci-fi, anime, or comic convention is usually 3 days, and that works well. But a board game convention works differently. When playing board games you're investing a lot of time into a single events. Unlike other kinds of conventions where a glance might be all you need to experience an event, playing a game can take a LOT longer (I'm looking at you, Pathfinder!). There may not have been a lot of panels at this convention, but you didn't really need a lot of panels, since people want to play games, not listen to people talk the whole time.
The ticket price was steep (almost $100 per ticket), but just look at what it gets you! 4 free games right off the top! Plus all the additional free stuff you pick up along the way. And the ticket gets you access to the library, the ball room to play, dexterity games, game previews, and more. Considering all the physical and experiential staff I got for the ticket, I'm surprised it was only $95!
If you're considering going to the next BGG.CON, please plan ahead. I got my ticket the day it went on sale waaaaaay back in the Spring, and that first week alone the tickets were 85% sold out. Hopefully next year will allow for more attendees, but in case it doesn't, plan to get your ticket as soon as possible.

The Brad Pit

Brad Pitt's Brad Pitts

I did it fot teh lulz

Compiled from
http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/wenn21008695.jpg
https://tmoniquestephens.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/bigstock-portrait-of-a-sexy-muscular-ma-36532474.jpg
http://magazinefeed.net/sites/default/files/elcolordelcine_brad_pitt_0.jpg
http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Entertainment/images-12/brad-pitt-new-movie.jpg

My Hump

Sing it!

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)
Directed and Written by George Barry

Dear My brain... I'm so sorry I did this to you... I plan Patton Oswalt 

If you've heard Patton Oswalt's bit about Death Bed, you may be under the same impression I was. "Oh, this sounds like a terribly funny b-movie!" But you're wrong... It's a b-movie beyond being mock-worthy. Just walk away.

Some young kids in heat find a random place in the wilderness to shag (cause of course that's a good idea). They get it on whilst on the bed. But it's not a normal bed. It's Death Bed, the bed that eats!!!

The 5 star meal the guy brings for the girl he's shagging.

Needless to say the lovers are absorbed into the bed. Fast forward a little and three girls drive up to spend the weekend in the area. Two are friends, and the third is a work acquaintance who invited herself along but soon regrets it.
Once the girls arrive, the third wheel decided she'll sleep the day away on a random bed they stumble upon in a bunker. The other two go to explore, while third wheel Suzan stays behind. She falls asleep and the bed kind of gets off from her sleeping body. Somehow the bed undresses her, does its thing, then eats her. Once she girls return they're puzzled by her disappearance. Thinking she couldn't have gone very far, one girl, Sharon, decides to drive up the way they came while the other, Diane, stays behind in case she returns.
Diane chugs down some wine and soon finds herself resting on the bed. She awakens to see Suzan saying she is dead. Both of them are in a book of names of the dead. Diane looks at the book, made of reflective sheets, and page after page she sees only her reflection. This is just a dream of her and Suzan, so this time she wakes for real. Unfortunately she stirs to the realization that the bed is gobbling her up. Whimpering, she drags herself off the bed to the stairs leading out of the bunker. On the top step it seems she's home free, when one of the sheets whips out and wraps around her, pulling her back. 

Diane fails to escape, and is dragged back to bed to finish the "job"

Sharon returns just in time to see this, but is unable to saver her friend.
Meanwhile Sharon's brother has been trying to find her for some reason. He eventually arrives in the brick shack to see his sister huddled in the corner. Why has the bed not taken her, you ask. It is because Sharon's eyes look like the eyes of the lover of the demon who bled tears on the bed, bringing it to life. In short, Sharon reminds Death Bed of its mom.
Understand the bed is evil, Sharon's brother stabs it. But Death Bed latches onto the knife, and instead of letting go he lets his hands get sucked in with it. When he manages to wriggle free, Death Bed has picked his hands clean, leaving only the bones exposed. Sharon's brother says he can't tale the sight of his own bones, so she snaps his hands off for him.

Sharon and her brother, who is being recruited for the skeleton army

Then somehow there's a dude trapped behind a painting (who has been playing narrator this whole time). He gives Sharon instructions on how to kill the bed, though it seems to cost her life and her brother's to do so.
So death bed is destroyed, and we're all left feeling underwhelmed.

Death Bed on its deathbed as it weird ritual continues to destroy it

Cause even Death Bed gets a bit upset inside. Image from 

I want to mention that at no time during this movie does anyone under attack scream. They just stay silent as they're eaten alive, or whimper. Maybe if they asked for help, someone near by could have come over or something. The pacing is also so slow that during scenes where people are getting killed, the whimpering makes it sound like you're watching porn (I watched this at a friend's parents' house and we both prayed that they wouldn't hear this flick, come downstairs and be like "What the heck???").
There's also a lot of moments of unnecessary nudity, like in Diane's dream.
The story is so convoluted that there has to be a narrator. Instead of having characters with dialogue, the narrator just tries to fill you in.
Also if you are so curious, you'll notice that all the girl's filmographies on IMDB only consist of Death Bed: The Bed That Eats. Maybe it turned them off from ever wanting to act again?

As mentioned before, this movie was so bad that there wasn't even enough to make fun of. Save yourselves and watch something else like Zombies on a Plane.
If for whatever reason you still feel the need to watch it, don't waste the $15 on the DVD like I did. Talk someone else into buying it for you, or maybe check it out here for free https://youtu.be/r9CL4erF9Qw

4chan

Some 4chan moments.

Creepypasta Movies 2

A while back I wrote about some movies based on creatures centered in tons of Creepypastas. Well I watched some more, and here they are.

Fathom (2013)
Directed By Justin Jones
Written By Alexander Crews

I want to mention that the director did a lot more than direct. He's also credited as the editor, and steadicam operator. Alexander Crews is listed for cinematography as well as writing. I think it's really cool that these guys successfully have their fingers in several pies.

So this is a short film, running at 8 minutes. It focuses on a older gentleman who has been searching for Slender Man for ages after Slender Man took his sister and left only her shoes. After a lifetime of research he's not found a way to get to the Slender Man. Instead the Slender Man comes to him and offers him a way to see his sister again.

This is probably the best Slender Man film I've seen. Most are trash (thus they're not hard to beat), but this one is quality. Unlike most junk on YouTube, the audio is level, the camera is steady, and the acting is good.
Now it's not quite cinema quality, but it's very close. The only thing I'd say keeps it from being cinema quality is the Slender Man's costume. It's a dude on stilts with a white face mask and gloves. This is a practical costume which is probably done for budget reasons. I understand this, and it seems like the crew did too. And to try to enhance the costume there's an electrical interference effect, which is a nice touch. Colour grading is great too. All around it's a really well put together film. Would not be surprised if Gearmark Pictures starts having stuff widely in theatres in my lifetime.

Slender Man (2011)

This one sucks. Would not recommend anything beyond the first minutes 43 seconds. The guys screen with the camera zoom is hilarious! And same with the detective's chin scratch.

So Detective J is concerned for his brother once kids start disappearing. However his brother, Brian, doesn't like him. This is because after their father was murdered J left him and his mother. He tells J that he'll be safe, but Brian finds that he's being stalked by someone in a weird mask, and nearly everyone he's come in contact with ends up dead or missing.
Eventually Brian wakes up in the woods and gets attacked by the masked person. Mask guy reveals himself as a classmate of Brian's who has snatched Brian to use him as bait to meet Slender Man. Brian escapes the kid but then runs into Slender Man. Fortunately he knows Slender Man's "weakness" and pulls out his cellphone.
When Brian comes to again he's in his brother's car at the school. J tells him his teacher has something important for him so Brian heads into the school. J says he'll wait in the car. However he never comes back. It seems like the masked kid wants revenge.
 To be continued? No thanks.

This is the typical kids-with-a-camera quality video. It sucks. Tripod. Please. Or just stick a camera on a chair to keep it steady. But no. And then there's spelling mistakes. I'm not very good a spelling and my professional work goes through a lot of people to check that. Why didn't anyone screen for quality before releasing this video?

Screenshot from movie

Acting is not very good. Camera quality isn't that great. Cinematography isn't great. Slender Man costume is meah. The list goes on. All that being said, movies that suck like this made by a group of little kids are great first steps. My opinion, as harsh as it may seem sometimes, comes from a motion graphics and editor background. I like to see kids try, even if that means failing, because trying and failing is better than never trying at all.
And that being said, I don't think this was made by a group of little kids. I think it was made by young adults. There are simple errors that could be avoided, like spelling.
As of today there's over 1 million views. Likes and Dislikes are almost 50/50.

Butchy Kid Videos

SHOCKING SLENDER MAN VIDEO on Butchy Kid's YouTube

Butchy Kid Videos does tons of funny little videos. They're "sighting" of creatures like Slender Man, Bigfoot, Wolfman, and more. Very funny stuff. Would recommend.

7500 (2014)

7500 (2014)
Directed by Takashi Shimizu
Written by Craig Rosenberg

Image from IMDB

Words of advice: Don't waste your time.
This film (if you want to even call it that) is poo. A friend of mine sent me some reviews about it before its North American release on Dread Central and Bloody Disgusting. Both are very negative, to my dismay. But... they are also right. As Dread Central put it “Craig Rosenberg (The Quiet Ones) weaves a tale that would be better suited to the length of a Twilight Zone episode… a Twilight Zone episode from the more recent incarnations of the series and not a particularly good one, either.” Too true.
So in case you haven't heard of the film before, here's what I knew before getting into this. A few years back I hear about this film 7500. A horror film about a haunted flight on it's way to Japan? I'm so psyched! At this time in my life I am about to fly to Japan from the US myself. What timing! Unfortunately the release date is pushed. The move isn't released. Bummer. Fast forward and I'm still waiting for this film a year later. Again, release date is pushed. Finally fall 2014 it's released! Heck yeah I'm watching this. I've literally been waiting for this film for years. Now I've seen it and am sure glad that while I was waiting, I was doing other things, like having a life. I don't know what this film was originally intended to be, but it has ended up being garbage. To top it off, why release it now? CBS Films put it off so long already, why not another year so recent tragic aviary wounds can heal a little? With that last comment in mind, perhaps that is the reason that 7500 got released in plenty of other places before the US.

Now let's get less personal.

Time to board the plane from the US to Japan. It's only going to take a scant eight hours (my flight was maybe double that so no idea where they flew out from). But in spite of the short flight time, the plane is doomed.
On the plane there's a newly wed couple made up of a neurotic germaphobic woman and her well-mannered husband, goth chick, some punk kid who made it on with a carry-on full of stolen cell phones, a girl going to visit her boyfriend, some dude with a creepy old wooden box, a mom and her daughter, two flight attendants, two random dudes who work on the plane but only appear twice, and two couples going for the dream trip to Japan. There are a few more people but they didn't really seems to matter, and they also seem to randomly disappear throughout the film.
A couple hours into the flight and the group hits a bit of turbulence. The plane seems to make it through ok, but one passenger (the dude with the weird wooden box), has some sort of panic attack or seizure or something and DUN DUN DUN dies! There seems to have been nothing the two flight attendants and paramedic passenger (part of the group going for the dream trip) could have done.
Needing somewhere to put the body, the captain tells the flight attendant to move all people from the upstairs first class to regular seats downstairs so the body can be stashed there. There's only a few people on this flight from the US to Japan in total, nevermind the negligible number that was flying first class, so everyone that's inconvenienced gets over it fast.
Then shortly after, there's more flight troubles! The plane starts to plummet down from the sky. The oxygen masks fall. Baggage in overhead compartments rebel and rain down on the passengers below. Girl-going-to-visit-her-boyfriend is thrown around with her pants down in the lavatory while trying to take a pregnancy test. Luckily the captain somehow gets control back and the flight continues. Seems like everyone is ok. But then weird gets weirder. Punk kid with stolen cell phones decides to swipe the dead guy's Rolex and take a selfie upstairs, but something goes wrong. And he winds up missing. To top it off one of the flight attendant sees a jet out the window flying pretty close. She calls the captain to ask for what to do about the missing punk kid, the now missing body, and if he's seen a jet. Look for the body and no, no jet is the word.
The few passengers that remain decide to snoop through the dead guy's stuff to find and clues as to why things are going south (group composed of paramedic from before and his friend girl, and newly weds). Inside the wooden box they find an animatronic death doll that the dead dude was delivering for a client. Fortunately at that moment goth girl is there to talk about shinigami and how some people's spirits after death need to let go before they're able to be taken away by death. The gang also convinces a flight attendant that she should look at his checked luggage below for more clues. For whatever reason, she does, and she does it alone. That doesn't end well for her, though, when a pale hand reaches for her from his luggage.
Last remaining flight attendant then gets taken in front of the gang by something that pulls her into an overhead compartment.
They flee back downstairs and find girl-going-to-visit-boyfriend has once again tried to use the restroom for her pregnancy test, and is now dead with her pants down. What a way to go.
In the cockpit the pilot and copilot are dead too! What's going on? Well a conveniently timed news transmission comes on the plane's TVs to explain just that. Apparently when the plane dropped the second time everyone had actually died on board and the gang just hadn't accepted it yet. The plane had been on auto pilot this whole time and would crash into the water in a few hours. The jet outside was there to look inside to see if anyone may have survived. Nope.
Paramedic and his friend girl end the flight in an embrace, newly wed husband seems to be ok with it, and crazy wife is the only one left. She's taken by force by a ghostly hand in the trash, as the movie's last ditch effort to spook the audience with a jump scare. The end.

Dumb, I know. It's also one of those plane movies on a mysterious airline that takes off even though a flight is less than half full, and everyone has leg room. The aisles are wide enough for people to walk up and down at the same time, seats are wide and the cushions aren't worn in. The galley is spacious and passengers can just hang out there. Where does an airline like that exist? Why is it so hard for movies on airplanes to keep it real? It annoys me...

To top it off, the film's website doesn't even seem to have anything on it but a trailer. Maybe you can figure out the navigation, but if I have to spend more than a few minutes to find a button to take me to wallpapers or a site's homepage, then the site sucks. And at the time of this blog entry, the trailer is blocked on Youtube.

Screenshot of the official trailer page that I tried to access in the US from the link on the official movie website. G4? What? Right now you can watch the trailer on IGN's channel though. Weird...

Anyway, this film stinks. Don't do it.

Contracted (2013)

Contracted (2013)
Directed by Eric England
Written by Eric England

Image from http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTQwMjQyOTUwN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDQ3MzE2MDE@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

STDs (or STIs as they're called nowadays) are pretty scary. Some things you can live with, some will kill you, and apparently some will do much worse. That's kind of the premise for Contracted.

From reviews and people I've spoken with, Contracted is either a movie you like or don't. Not really any gray area. I'm part of the do-not-like party. It's one of those movies that you can't even get attached to the protagonist because they do everything wrong. I want to see a horror movie where the character is taking steps towards self preservation, and she has to use intelligence to get out of a situation. I don't want to see a stupid girl get in trouble because of something she chose to do herself.

Samantha and Nikki are taking some time apart. Nikki is so over this, but Sam hopes it's just a short break. In the mean time Sam ends up at her friend Alice's house for a party. After a few drinks she can't even properly decipher which cup is hers and is handed one by an uninvited guest. Before she knows it, she's have straight unprotected sex in his car. In the morning she wakes up in her bed with a fuzzy memory and what she thinks is a bad hangover. At least in her room she's surrounded by beautiful flowers she's growing for a competition. Beyond her door is a mother who isn't so much concerned as she is leery that her daughter is using again.
At work Sam has trouble concentrating. She can't understand customers' orders, and is overwhelmed by a ringing white noise. Seeking solace in the ladies' room, things seems to calm down in her head, but she has a huge amount of blood escape from her lady bits.
Her doctor barely examines her and thinks she may have an STD. Sam is devastated. In her mind she cheated on her girlfriend with a MAN. If only she didn't take a drink from a stranger. If only she didn't have unprotected sex in someone else's car. If only she' insist that her doctor examine her thoroughly instead of looking only at her hips and waist with her panties still on and calling it a day.
Also during that day Sam insists that Nikki and her meet up. While eating out a dude approaches Sam to hit on her. Nikki tells him he doesn't have the right equipment, and he's confused, seeing as Sam did have sex with a guy just a while before. Luckily Nikki shoos him away before she finds out about it.
Later on things get worse. Sam's hair is falling out, Sam's teeth are falling out, Sam's eye is messed up, and maggots are falling from her vagina. And her flowers are dying. So what does she do? Fight with her mom and go to work.
Her boss has insisted she work for a bit before heading to the doctor (not emergency room), but she's cut off when a customer finds bits of her in the food she's prepared.
Once again at the doctor, he doesn't seem too concerned. Tells her he's running tests and she should keep herself isolated for the time being. During all this, Alice has been contacted by the police about one of the guests at her party. He's a wanted man. Has Sam seen this guy? Oh she's more than seem him. He's the one who gave this present to her. But Sam is reluctant still to divulge, because what if Nikki finds out? Alice calls Nikki anyway to tell her and hopefully convince Sam to go to the police. Unfortunately that's not what goes down.
Sam turns from lover to stalker as she shows up at Nikki's, pounding on her door. Can't you tell she's over you? And she's extra pissed that you slept with a man. Sam can't take the criticism and rejection though. If she can't have Nikki no one will. She forces open Nikki's door, throwing Nikki to the ground. While she's dazed, Sam takes the opportunity to kill her. She then decides to stop in at Alice's since she's the one that told Nikki.
When Sam arrives, Alice soon can tell something is wrong. She tries fighting Sam off, but once again Sam kills a friend. And of course the next logical step after killing is to call up that one customer from your work that's been hitting on you, and inviting him over.
So he shows up, and in spite of the fact that clumps of her hair are missing, she's got the teeth of a Mountain Dew addict, one eye is blank, and her lip is scabbed over, this guy decided that he's down to bone. Ooo and she feels so good, right? Wrong. After a few pumps he realizes Sam is crazy bleeding all over his junk, and when he pulls out maggots fall to the floor. Gross! Guy freaks out (as he should have from the start) and rushes to the bathroom to clean off. Unfortunately he finds Alice's body in the bath tub. What to do?!
Sam leaves Alice's and gives her mom a ring. Her mom all of a sudden is concerned about her and her whereabouts. Sam, however, passes out at the wheel. When she comes to, the man has arrived, as well as her mom, and has her car surrounded. She gimply swats at the armed officers, while her mom calls to her. Sam rushes her mother, and finally we see that Zombieism is an STD. And guy from the party (BJ) is spreading it.

Image from http://i1095.photobucket.com/albums/i461/gokbiloz/ARNT4/7_zps6a943829.jpg~original

Above is a picture of Sam, halfway through her demise. Don't you want to get with that, just like random guy at the end of the movie? NO! Not to say she's ugly, but simply because any good samaritan would think this looks like a person in distress. She needs medical help. But no. Instead Nikki is too caught up in their breakup and Sam's 'confused' sexuality, Alice is too upset that Sam didn't turn herself into the police, guy from restaurant is too horny, mom thinks she's just a crack head, and Samantha is just dumb. Like I said earlier, can't even feel bad for them. Stupid people suffer avoidable consequences.
Additionally, if your employee came to work looking like that, wouldn't you want her to leave immediately and seek medical aid? Gosh people.

Image from http://i.imgur.com/l0Lxien.png

This movie spans 3 days too, which makes it worse. This pic above is Samantha before things go way south. So within a matter of days she goes from looking like that to this:

Image from https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2EusPCzQlJmes5m_qQdUsFcYHxgzqBJyj7yEkIK-0-Oz8UpJ47dQschbET7LGMNmA-P2hWBwiq1SOICXlmOMEFNZPfBdfp2-wC22uuZOrk4Yuli0uURXDc2r9JLlwnFtPwlj2buc8snGO/s1600/contracted-01.jpg

No one, not even herself, was particularly concerned about this immediate transformation. Whatevs.
The one good thing I have to say about it is it's an interesting opinion of how people become zombies.

Worst Movie Ever

For you out there that truly enjoy the torture of an awful film:

Worst film I've ever seen is

Birdemic: Shock and Terror (2010)

Written and directed by James Nguyen
If you think you've seen a more horrible film, please tell me what it is, cause as of right now I don't think there is anything worse. I don't know what the filmmakers were thinking, or even if they were thinking, but this is garbage.

So this movie is about killer birds. And the reason they kill? Global warming. And then at the end, they fly away.

This movie is so bad, and for more reasons than just the story. The acting is maybe elementary school Thanksgiving play quality. The special effects are worse than that. And the audio is even worse.

Anyway, not gonna talk much more about it cause it'll just get me worked up. So if you're curious to know more, check out the trailer. PS if you're a glutton for this anguish, there is a sequel.

Banshee Chapter (2013)

Banshee Chapter (2013)
Directed by Blair Erickson
Written by Blair Erickson and Daniel J. Healy

Image from http://www.movieinsider.com/m9385/the-banshee-chapter/

Banshee Chapter is a film about a young female journalist looking for her missing best friend who has got himself caught up in a horrific CIA experiment.

After college, best friends Anne and James sadly drifted apart. Anne went on her journey to become a journalist, while James began research on a book about MKUltra. He had received a sample of the drug from his friends in Colorado, and decided to partake in it on tape. Another friend of James' recorded his trip. Unfortunately James wasn't hallucinating what was happening to him. After ingesting the drug, the radio tuned into a strange station playing was sounded like ice cream truck music overlaid with a young girl talking gibberish. Then a silhouette appeared in the window and something happened...
When James' friend comes around he notices James is missing. He runs about the property frantically looking for his friend and eventually finds him out back. But it's not really James. A look-alike with dark eyes and some red liquid escaping its mouth confronts the friend. Next thing the friend knows he's being pinned for James' disappearance, but shortly after his interrogation he disappears himself.
Anne see's this as an opportunity for an amazing story and to find James. Her first research is reviewing the friend's tape. She then tracks down a man who may be able to identify what that weird radio broadcast is. An older gentleman at an electronic repair shop says yes, he has heard this before. And Anne's best bet of hearing it again is out at a particular lonely stretch of highway late at night. But when she goes there and hears what she's been searching for, something beyond the comfort of her car prompts her to make a quick getaway.
At the officer her boss, Olivia, has another tape for Anne. It's a tape from the MKUltra experiments showing living subjects being injected with liquid extracted from the brain of a dead patient. The tape then goes blank for the last half. It is sent away to see of what was originally recorded in that black space can be extracted, and in the mean time Anne sets out to find author Thomas Blackburn.
She got the tip to see Blackburn after she told a coworker James had got the drug from his 'friends in Colorado', and a coworker remarked "Like the book title?"
The book Friends in Colorado is then presented to Anne. It is written by Thomas Blackburn so Anne believes he is actually the one who supplied James with the substance.
Blackburn, not talking with journalists anymore, is greeted in a bar by Anne, under the alias of Sarah, a big Blackburn fan. Blackburn invites her back to his place, where she meets Callie. Callie is mixing up some MKUltra for them to enjoy, and Blackburn gives some to Sarah in a shot glass, before going to his liquor cabinet to get them another drink. While his back is turned Sarah chucks the MKUltra, then gladly takes the new drink from Blackburn. Slyly he confronts her about her true identity saying he knew it from the get-go. And that he actually put the drug in her drink, not in the shot she threw away...
Angered, Anne retreats to the bedroom upstairs where Callie is sitting. Callie is looking wide-eyes out the window claiming something is coming for them, something is close, something can see her and she doesn't like it. Weirded out Anne goes back downstairs to hear that ice cream truck recording and something banging on the door to get in. Blackburn, Callie and Anne hole up in the bedroom while the thing tries to break through the bedroom door. The place goes dark and the door opens. Blackburn and Anne are knocked out, and when they come to Callie is gone. The two of them get the hell out of there.
When they stop to regain composure the radio tunes into that noise again, and Blackburn starts to convulse. His eyes roll back and his orifices bleed. Anne guns it out of their until they're out of reach of the signa;.
With their nerves returning Anne insists they go to Callie's house to make sure she's ok. Perhaps they all just hallucinated all of this.
Blackburn directs her to the house she had been squatting in. He waits in the car, still a mess from the earlier incident, but gives Anne a walkie talkie to stay in touch.
As Anne approaches the front door of the house, it looks like someone's been here... She heads to the basement where Blackburn says she makes her concoctions, and he finds formulas for the MKUltra, as well as security camera feeds from around Callie's house. She sees Callie's form enter between the time at Blackburn's and now. Then the figure goes to the basement, and walks into a shadowed corner just minutes before Anne arrives. And she never sees her leave... Paranoid, Anne approaches the stairs by the corner slowly, having grabbed what papers she could. Halfway up the stairs a hand grabs her, and in a panic Anne flees back to the car. The the two drive.
Blackburn explains that the MKUltra drug isn't really for a regular trip. He theorizes it's a chemical catalyst that makes your mind a receiver for something. And that something hones into your location once you've ingested the drug. Your can tell it's near from the radio, and when it gets you, you're gone, but your body remains. It wears you.
Fearing for them, Anne points out to where she thinks it all originated from based on the papers from Callie's house, and suggests they burn it to hell. Blackburn tells her she doesn't have to. She can just walk away. Because he didn't actually give her the drug.
He had lied to her like she lied to him. But this doesn't make Anne feel safer, because James' friend went missing too. They finally resolve to go the origin and destroy it.
They arrive at what looks like a bunker with a broadcast antenna on top. Inside the rooms that were in the experiment tape are all around them. Finally they find one room with a tank and some sort of giant computer hooked up to it that's still running. The tank has one window. Anne crouches to peer inside and pale face presses against it. Then the radio signal begins. Blackburn begins to fit, and before he is taken by the signal, he shoots himself. Anne flees down the hall in fright, to be confronted by a strange humanoid figure. Wearing James' clothes.
She runs back to the room, locks the door and douses the place in gasoline from the car. The thing is coming for her at the door but she manages to set the gas alight before she's taken too.
Soon afterwards Anne finds herself at a police station. It looks similar to the one James' friend was held at for interrogation at the beginning. Her boss arrives and is glad she's safe, but advises against her story. They'll call her crazy. But Anne doesn't know what else to say. Olivia mentions to her that the company was able to extract the buried footage on the tape, but says the content isn't important right now. She wants to know is Anne is sure she didn't have any of the drug. She says yes, but then the intercom starts plating the ominous ice cream truck music again. Frantically Anne screams for the police to let her out of the investigation room, and when she turns around she finds Olivia at her neck, black eyes and bleeding from the mouth like James from the tape.

Image from http://www.screendaily.com/reviews/the-latest/the-banshee-chapter/5059526.article

So this movie really freaked me out. Yes is is low budget, but the film handled that well. It felt like the crew said "We only have this much money and time, so let's make a top notch film on a tiny budget by really focusing the money where is needs to go."
Within the first ten minutes I jumped around twice. I don't usually get phased by horror movies, but this one did it.
I don't understand why ratings aren't higher for this film on IMDB. I'd recommend to a horror fan who also likes to think a little. To top it off, it's one of those films based on other stories, like how Devil's Pass is based on the real hikers who went missing in the same area so long ago.
I didn't know this going in, but the MKUltra experiments were a real thing and may very well still be. Like it says in the movie, the experiments were intended to figure out a recipe for mind control. Tons of people, an unknown number, were used as test subjects without knowing. Perhaps it's still happening now too. I'm not a huge conspiracy theorist, but we've seen what the US government does to it's own citizens and the rest of the world with or without their knowing and/or approval, so I really unfortunately don't see this film as far fetched.
It is disheartening to know there are people within high ranks of the government that can literally go whatever kind of experiments they want on knowing or unknowing test subjects and get away with whatever the consequences to the subjects are. And that taxes go to fund things like this...
We can hope this isn't continuing in the USA, but...
Anyway, good thinking film. I'd also like to add I've only watched through this once so far, but the interrogation room from the beginning with James' friend and the one from the end with Anne looked similar to me. This prompts me to believe that the police knew on some level what was going on, and perhaps they were being controlled themselves by some successful version of MKUltra, so they purposefully stuck Anne in a room with a receiver in order to take care of their problem.
Also worthy of note, this isn't a typically blockbuster with love stories and such going on. Yes, Anne considers the possibility that maybe her and James should have been something. But they don't live happily ever after. There's no sex, or nudity to keep attention. Just a good story without those stupid movie crutches.
And finally, the end of the credits don't play some catch pop song. Instead the last thing you hear is the broadcast. And it is eerie...

you don't know me

you don't know me (2008)
Directed by Sean Melia


Awesome short film. I love how clean and concise it is.

Watch it here.

Image from SeanMelia.com

So Michael, an old college friend is having a party and Neil and his girlfriend Stefanie come over. Neil is trying to become YouTube famous so he's devised a plane to get more views than ever. He plants some Flip cameras around his friend's house, and waits for the party to end.

When it's over and everyone else is gone, Neil goes to get his friend. He tells Michael that there's been... an accident. In Michael's room where Neil and Stefanie went to screw, like Stefanie. She's dead, Neil claims. Calmly Michael goes back downstairs and gets a beer for Neil. Then they talk about how they'll get rid of the body.

Michael gets a saw, a knife, garbage bags, and suitcases. He plans to drain Stefanie, cut her up, and roll her out of the place. Has Michael done this before? They go back to the bedroom. "Neil, what's going on?" Stefanie, alive, asks Neil in a panic. "Stefanie, run!"

A simple plan to scare Michael nuts and get it on camera has revealed that he's not who they thought at all.

Michael goes after Niel first, closing Stefanie into the bedroom. Soon he returns to the door.

"Is this part of the movie?"
"Yes! Yes, this is part of the movie," Michael answers.
Stefanie huddles with the sheets, and a motor of some kind is heard beyond the door...

~~~

Incredibly low budget, but this simple story doesn't call for a huge one anyway. I enjoyed it. I though Michael's (played by Michael Hogan) acting was good. I would have like a crisper picture, cleaner sound, and a little better lighting, but they're not bad in a way that distracts. It's a great short that could be greater with these changes is all. I think this is an inspiration to young filmmakers who are trying to do it all on their own and do it well. You don't have to have amazing cameras or special effects. At the core, it's about a well-said story. A horror movie that didn't show any violence, but got it's fear factor from the implications.

I don't know much about the director, Sean Melia. The IMDB page is pretty barren and there hasn't been any recent talk about him online that I've found. I hope to see his name more though. He seems to be pretty to-the-point in his art, as evident by no superfluous junk in this short, as well as his web site.

Image from http://www.openfilm.com/reviews/videos/meliasean-you-dont-know-me

So yes, very good, very good. Would recommend.

Entity

Entity (2012)
Directed by Steve Stone


A good movie to watch alone at night. Only really 2/5 though. This film has a good amount of potential, but at the end when the film has built up to possibly be something really cool it goes the other way and just sort of flatlines. Just sort of ends.

Image from www.entitythemovie.com


A tv show crew from Darkest Secrets goes to Russia when they hear about a bunch of unidentified bodies found in the woods. Russian Yuri tells them no information beyond the fact that there were unidentified bodies found was ever released from the government. The host, and two cameramen are lead by psychic Ruth. The locates the area in the woods where the bodies were found but senses a building through the woods where the people were brought from.

The group follows her and ends up at a building first claimed by Yuri to be for industrial use. Upon exploration they find that isn't true. Ruth wants to leave but host Kate pressures her to continue. It them becomes clear this was set up somewhat like a sanitarium.

When exploring a nearly barren room with only a bed, Ruth is attacked. She's disrupted something. When the group turns around they find crewmember David is missing. They set up a base camp in another room with Ruth rests and scrub through their camera footage for signs of David. It looks like he's just wandered off. Kate and cameraman Matt go to search for him.

While those two are gone it's revealed to Ruth that Yuri knows more about this place than he's be owning up to. After prying, Yuri admits he's here searching for someone -- a long lost love, Tasha. Tasha was a psychic and one day she just went missing. Yuri heard of psychics being captured and used for government and military experiments. He's sure this is where she was brought, and eventually killed like everyone else.

Yuri coaxes Ruth into helping with his gun. Meanwhile Kate and Matt find David, but only after something else has. In the darkness he's tossed around like a rag doll so the two flee back to base. Once there, Yuri forces them all to assist him in his search before he'll let them go. But once they begin searching, the entity finds them. A door separated Yuri from the group. He gets a glimpse of his Tasha, but is then claimed by something else.

Ruth then insists Matt and Kate escape while she tries to talk to the spirits, or at least buy them time. When almost out, Kate persuades Matt to go back with her for Ruth. They find her by the room where the thing was 'disturbed'. Then they retreat to their base to hold out till light. Unfortunately they don't make it. Matt goes to gather the cameras but something gets him. Kate goes to investigate what's taking him so long, only to find his body. Cornered she becomes pray as well.

When she awakens she's in that room again. She walks around to find her crew and Yuri. They say nothing, save for Ruth. In Russian she tells Kate that she'll never leave. She returns to her room, then disappears. Ruth, or whatever is in her body, walks away into the forest.

Image from www.entitythemovie.com

So the pacing is a little wonky. The movie is under 90 minutes and it takes about an hour for Yuri to reveal the real reason he told the TV show about the bodies. Acting is okay. I don't know that the characters were fully developed. Like why would Kat push Ruth to continue in the beginning but then go back for her in the end? If she had been jaded as a TV host from a lot of bogus leads in the past, then they should have explained that in the film. Out of the blue David becomes afraid of bears and wolves when they walk through the woods too. Totally felt from left field. Just bizarre stuff.

Colour correction for the film is a typical highly desaturated horror blue. There's little in terms of music, but that's because as a semi found-footage type film, all the ambient noises were important to hear. I do appreciate that this was a hybrid of found footage and regular third person omnipotent POV. It was nice to not have another poopy found footage film.

There's a lot of unanswered questions in the film, but not necessarily pot holes, meaning this film can leave you thinking. If you watch with a friend you'll be able to speculate a lot of stuff. Like is the reason the government didn't say anything else about the bodies because they knew where they were from and didn't want anyone else getting involved with the disgruntled spirits? Ect.

Worth a watch if you're bored at night. Otherwise, not that great.

Creepypasta Movies

 Silence=copy of Slender Man, yes?
Image from tumblr

I recently found out there's a Slender Man feature length movie! Called up a friend and was all like "Did you know there's a Slender Man movie?" And then I was all like "It would be awesome if there was a Rake mov---OMYGOSH THERE'S A RAKE MOVIE! Just found it on youtube!" And then I watched it, and I watched The Slender Man with my friend, and then I watched Windigo (a Slender Man movie).

The Slender Man was great. The Rake was good. Windigo sucked.

Windigo (2011)
Vince Emerson Media
Directed by James Hardiment

Oh my gosh, Windigo was bad! It was like no one had any sense of pacing.
So you got your group of students filming a documentary. Their topic is deforestation. They have two actors, a selfish impatient girl, and an oblivious idiot guy. The group is camping out on the property of the camera man's uncle, and the camera man's uncle is dirty creep by the way. The uncle is wearing the same shirt in the beginning and the end. I guess he could have done his laundry, but it's a weird choice in a movie. So the kids are trying to get interviews with locals on how deforestation has effected their professions. Most of the people either don't know what that means or like deforestation. So the kids bicker and fight amongst themselves, an Slender Man pops up here and there.

If a ninety minute movie takes seventy minutes to start, there's something wrong. Yes there are shots with Slender Man lurking the background here and there, but they're few an far between. Man it was just so bad. And yes we get there a large amount of time is going by. Yes a few days is going by. That doesn't mean you have to make the film a few days long! You edit to give a sense of time passing but cut things to keep the audience interested. Basically it could have had a shot at being good if it was compressed to maybe forty minutes.

The Rake (2011)
Enter Viral
Ken Collins

Which leads me to The Rake. I understand it was a zero budget film shot in two days. I'm not sure how long it took to edit. But basically in spite of lots of factor threatening to depreciate the ambitiousness of the film, it was well done! It was a group of dudes doing stupid boy stuff. Nothing in their actions was unbelievable either, so great job with that too! Boys do stupid things, like think they can survive in the wilderness with five bottles of water and probably no spring water filtration system. People do stupid stuff.
Three friends agree to go camping in the forest of a mountain for a month. Their goal is to be cut off from the outside and just be wilderness dudes for a while. Unfortunately after the first night one of the boys go missing. The two other wait for a while before deciding to look for him. They go towards what they believe are his screams but find nothing. Eventually another boy is stolen right out from the tent, and the one person remaining decides to make a run for it towards a road by an abandoned mine. But something gets him first.
Simple story. Not confusing. Easy to follow. It was under an hour and edited well enough to hold the audience. It had good pacing too. There are comments in youtube making criticisms here and there, but I didn't find any of them degrading to the film, if I even noticed them at all. If Windigo had edited like The Rake, it would not suck so bad. In my opinion the Rake creature was also really well done. I love how its cameos are sprinkled here and there and you could probably watch through it a few different times and see it at times you didn't notice before. Wendigo on the other hand made it pretty obvious when Slender Man was around. Yes, I understand electronics get messed up by his presence, but there wasn't much effort when hiding him in scenes.

The Slender Man (2013)
SirJohnProductions
Directed by AJ Meadows

The Slender Man was great. I was interested the whole almost eighty minutes. What was nice about that too was there were stories going on aside from merely Slender Man abducting people. The side stories all rooted from that, but there were compelling in their own way. I would equate it to how Game of Thrones has a million different stories, but eventually they all cross paths. Wendigo's side story of a bunch of kids making a documentary wasn't compelling at all. The characters were so winy you couldn't even feel bad when something happened to them! Plus their side story was about little kids making a documentary on deforestation. It's not like that's a horrible topic but they literally got no where with it except for explaining the definition of the word. All the characters were too busy wining and complaining to get anywhere else.

In spite of this mixed bag of feelings towards these movies, I honestly do love that there are so many. I love that these are stories that normal people (meaning not necesarily film students and pros) are driven to tell. I love that.
Just to throw this in, there's a theatrical slender Man movie coming out this summer. Entity. A few mixed feelings just towards the fact that this is going to be in select theatres based on demand, while pretty much everything else is free to watch on youtube, but oh well. I also don't like how Entity's t-shirt implies Slender Man is the devil, unless this movie actually is about Satan, who is for some reason faceless, extremely tall, and in a suite. But that would be really stupid. Anyway, trailer for Entity below:

Entity (2013)
East Bay Entertainment

The Slender Man (2013)
Scream1210 Productions
Directed by Michael Davis

Continuing, there is another movie titled The Slender Man on Scream1210's Youtube channel, which is pretty bad. It centers around a film student trying to unravel the mystery of a town's many missing persons reports. These reports have only became popular after a mother and her baby go missing. This 'film student' sucks at filming! Learn how to hold a camera! There are these amazing things called tripods and camera stabilizers. I don't always get the best shots when I'm shooting, but my footage is still way better than his. And shooting with a consumer camera? That's totally fine. Not everyone can afford amazing prosumer cameras, and you can still get great shots. But not checking sound levels? Oh my gosh, it's bad. The omnipotent third person camera man shots are tolerable (barely), but not the ones the protagonist shoots himself. It's just a bad film.
The film, beyond just the character's bad filming, is bad. The audio levels are inconsistent. And it sounds like lots of the tracks are made with Garage Band. I mean it's acceptable to make music with that program, but this film used just a lot of the ambient sound instruments. The thing with making films with your homies is that every other amateur is probably using similar if not THE SAME tools as you, so you need to try your best to make your use of the tools different. Don't download the most popular free sound effect if there's a lesser known one of the same quality. Don't distract your audience with poor choices on the back end. It's not the greatest when your audience can go 'Aha. I recognize that sound!' It pulls them out of your story.
Anyway, as far as the story goes, the student gets marked by Slender Man to die in five days. And he does. The end.